Today while I was fumbling to get from the parking lot to the inside of the grocery store, a man approached me.
Rabbit Trail 1: I was shopping at Aldi where for one, the carts are too small for OBaby’s car seat so I have to unstrap him and wear him in my sling, and two, their carts take a quarter deposit to release, so by it’s very nature this shopping trip was going to be messy.
Rabbit Trail 2: and OF COURSE the closest thing I had to a quarter for the cart was a two-dimes-and-five-pennies combo. Five pennies. Not even a nickle; that would have been too easy. ‘Tis my life of late. But I digress.
“Ma’am? Are you from around here?”
To be honest, my flags went up right away. How should I answer that? Yes and open myself up to help even though I don’t have the hands/time/cash? No and close the door on the possibility of helping (not to mention lie)?
“Well, sort of.” I evaded.
Then whoosh, he was talking at 13.5 miles a minute about how he is here from Illinois ::flashes an IL drivers license:: and he and his buddy, his buddy is also from Illinois, well now they live up here because they are students this semester in a legal assistant program at St. Paul College ::flashes a student ID:: and they, is this my car? He used to have a Honda like this, super reliable, yea? Well, this stupid Ford his buddy drives, it’s not reliable because, man, it won’t start and it’s got gas and all, but it must be the starter motor, do I know what the starter motor does in a car? Do I know if there’s somewhere around here that works on those?
“Uhm, I know there’s a car place just over there ::pointing North, across the overpass:: but I don’t really know what all they work on…”
“Great! Thanks!” And just like that he was gone, over the overpass.
I’m left standing there, with a now-squirming baby, totally shell-shocked by what did… or didn’t? just happen.
What DID just happen?
One of my first thoughts was if what he was doing was a diversion and maybe said buddy was not so much an unreliable Ford driver and more of a tag-team criminal who was grabbing my keys while he was showing me St. Paul College IDs.
So do I have my keys? Yes.
Ipod?
Check.
Wallet?
Check.
Toffee Nut Latte?
Check.
Ok, so he/they (was it really a they?) didn’t take anything, so was that for real?
Maybe I just helped someone, so why do I feel so icky and unsure about it?
Frankly, we live in a world where I feel nervous about talking to strangers. I questions people’s intentions and am quick to judge based on appearances. I know that this is good for survival, in theory, but I think it can be a hindrance as well. I could have had warm fuzzy feelings from helping a stranger, and instead I’m stuck feeling unsure.
I went about my shopping trip in a haze. Did I make the right choice? Could I have handled it differently? Did they take something I haven’t thought of yet?
As I exited the store I saw the man and a guy who I’m assuming was his buddy leaning on a green Ford Taurus on the other side of the parking lot, one of them on a cell phone.
Why did I doubt myself?
We doubt ourselves because we do have to err on the side of caution. Because these days you can turn your back on your purse in your shopping cart for less than a minute while you debate what cereal to buy and look back and it’s gone. Like last Sunday. And then you’re stuck for the next week/month/year wondering if your identity has been stolen, or if they’ll be smart enough to match your car keys with the address on your drivers license. That is why we doubt ourselves. Because the fear is real.
That being said, and just having gone through having my purse and its entirety taken, I still believe people are GOOD. I believe people do things to get quick money to feed habits they can’t (or don’t want to) break. I believe there are some people out there who have made the wrong decisions, have nothing to live for and chose to harm others on their reckless path through life. But aside from a few exceptions, I truly believe most people aren’t out to get us; they’re just trying to get through this crazy life as well.
Maybe I’m wearing blinders, though. Who knows. I stick by being slow to trust but quick to love. (Sorry about writing a novel…)
It’s possible that the only reason you doubted was that your Spidey sense was tingling.
Sometimes, we just get a bad vibe, for an unexplainable reason. It’s hard to shake.
(But I’m glad to know it turned out OK.)
I think it’s always good to guard yourself when you just don’t feel “right” about a situation. I work in a bank and we are taught that if we have an uneasy feeling about a person/situation then most likely there is a reason. Somehow we can sense these things.
It is sad that we can’t trust strangers in this day and age, but what can you do? you know? You’re way nicer than me. I would have kept on walking if my hubby wasn’t with me. Then again, I work on a rough side of town, so I’m used to being very guarded.
I call it the “mom sense”. There are times when you’ve just got to trust your gut. We’ve got some good insticts… it’s a shame a huge portion of the population ignores them!
It’s nice to meet you!