I have no idea what I’m doing.
Every other day or so it will hit me like a 2 ton Rhinoceros that I am someone’s mom. And as luck would have it, it’s not just someone’s, it’s OBaby’s. Of all the wonderful, chubby cheeked, Scandinavian babies out there, how did I end up with the perfectest one? The world will never know. I certainly don’t deserve him, that’s for sure.
He is looking a bit of pudge lately. This is entirely ok with me, until I’m wearing him in his sling in Trader Joe’s and an older woman (or five) guffaws when I say that he’s only 2 and 1/2 months old. “What a big little boy!” , “O my! What a grower then!” and “He must be eating well!” have all escaped the mouths of complete strangers. Quick, if I blink I’m sure I’ll be standing in Target receiving unsolicited parenting advice before I know it.
“O, my daughter used to do that all the time too. What worked for me was…”
“Cool. And I totally value your advice too, given your credentials and all. Wait, who are you again?”
Anyway, all this size attention (DID I MENTION HIS FATHER IS 6FT 2?!) has made a liar out of me.
“How old is your little one?”
“Three months.”
And there it is. I have lied to absolute strangers to avoid hearing their opinion of my son’s percentile rankings.
He still mostly wears 0-3 months size, thankyouverymuch.
O, and I’ve earned a sizable F on my consumption of the last two organic CSA veggie boxes we’ve gotten from our farm. I threw away handfuls of (expensive) rotten veggies and kicked myself the whole time. It seems I can’t in fact do it all.
Speaking of lazy, did I mention this is day 3 in a row of OBaby wearing disposable diapers? We seem to instigate a cloth diaper sabbath every other Sunday around here. Interestingly, this is about as often as we get out of bed and make it to church as well.
I have all but given up on the O My Family dog. So much so in fact, that we’re having the conversation in our house this week. Yes that one. Does the puppy stay or go? Stay means I need to be ok with her running away from me when I let her out of the house to potty, ok with her eating the tortillas out of the grocery bag that I left on the ground 3 minutes too long, and ok with her eating used kleenexes out of the bathroom trashcan EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND. Going would mean she would live with O My In-Laws for an undetermined amount of time which she would absolutely love and so would they, but I feel like A) a failure and B) a failure.
Really, Allison, a 6lb dog is just too much to handle, what with your infant son who regularly sleeps 8 hours at a time and has pretty much been an angel from the moment you pushed him from your womb?
Ugh. I know. But did I mention the tortillas? And the pen she chewed up on our comforter that left an ink stain? The poop she left in the kitchen last week? It makes me wonder if she was this naughty before and I just didn’t care because, what? She’s only a 6lb dog.
All this to say: I’m a lazy, lying, organic-veggie-wasting, disposable-diaper-using, church-skipping tiny dog hater.
Fabulous. Cheers!
Boy, that stuff is so much more fun to say without all that “not” business.
Love it! You own it!! You are free to use disposable diapers OR cloth, cover OR not, keep Pearl OR visit her on Sundays…be free!!! Anyway, I’m loving the new site, I noticed the sunflowers between the posts…very cute! Wow, so that’s a lot of punctuation going on in this comment, but I’m just so excited about this post, and you and your sweet family. :) love ya.
I enjoy honest people. :) We had “that conversation” shortly after our second son was born and subsequently found our 9 pound mini dachshund a new loving home. A home where she gets to sleep on the bed and wear cute little sweaters. It might have been the best. decision. ever.
So I totally get it. It doesn’t matter how much they weigh or what kind of diaper they are wearing, babies and the people they grow up to be are still the biggest responsibility and the most important “job” you’ll ever have. Anyway, take care! I enjoy reading, although am not the greatest commenter :)
What is it about dogs, that as soon as you don’t have a lot of time, they become insane? While we don’t have a kid, we are both working F/T jobs along with finishing up photography and trying to get our house all put together and and and….and Siku is on a destructo-rant. Apparently if it’s some random item in the backyard, he will chew it. So I understand your frustration. Good luck Mama!
I seriously love reading your blog. Everything you say seems to have me going “yep. check. done that!” can we hang out sometime? I’m beginning to realize JUST how much we seem to have in common… :P
Did you officially give the stay at home mom notice to work?
If you can swing it, stay home. Life gets way more complicated and less awesome when you go back to work.
Poor little O My Dog:( I’ve worried about my little dog and how he will behave (or misbehave would be more likely) if we brought a new baby into the house! I’m sure he’ll learn sooner or later that he’s not the star anymore. :)
you’re hilarious.
It’s sad for me to read this because I knew it was true but I never wanted it to be. I know that when my husband and I have kids, our dog will probably do the same.. seeing as how he requires so much attention already. Just know that it’s not anything you’ve done.. it’s just the way it is. Maybe give it a few more weeks, to see if she loosens up? She’s got to realize one day that she’s no longer the baby in the house. Well, I hope everything works out in your favor.. but if it doesn’t, don’t kick yourself in the butt about it. You’re doing your job, which is being a good Mommy to OBaby.
Well then. All I have to say is you are the most AWESOME lazy, lying, organic-veggie-wasting, disposable-diaper-using, church-skipping tiny dog hater friend that I just haven’t met yet!
O! and I should say u guys have the cutest baby ever!!