I don’t believe that any person, ever, can be prepared for the high calling that is parenthood.
I don’t believe any president has ever been fully prepared for what he would experience in office. I don’t believe any soldier has been prepared for what s/he would face in combat. I don’t believe any classroom teacher has ever been entirely prepared for what the new school year would bring.
And parenthood, motherhood, is an even higher calling than any of those.
To say that you can be prepared for motherhood is to diminish its greatness.
Perhaps I am young. Perhaps I am naive, (which I am. I acknowledged that here.) and I’m sure there is a continuum of naivete or unpreparedness when entering parenthood. I’m probably on the extreme end of it, but I don’t think anyone is not on it at all. Motherhood is too big for that.
The great thing, though? Admitting where you are on the continuum doesn’t mean you are weak. It doesn’t make you a bad mom or even that you are less of a great mom. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t absolutely in love with being a mother. It doesn’t mean you don’t wake up everyday thankful for the chance to get to do it all again. It doesn’t mean that at all. Because, like motherhood, it’s not about us.
It means that motherhood is big. Really, amazingly hugely big. Big hard and big beautiful. And there’s no way, from the outside, to grasp or prepare for that hugeness. If there were, it wouldn’t be as great as it is.
You can be blindsided by just how huge your heart can grow. You can be surprised that somehow, it physically hurts to watch your child sleep (Why IS that?!). You can be amazed at how deep you can dig when needed. You can wonder at how you became so comfortable in your mommy shoes.
Motherhood is bigger than me. Bigger than I could have imagined in both the difficult and the breath-taking. I am not afraid to admit that.
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I also reflected on this when OBaby was 4 months old and he met the ocean, which is to this day one of my favorite posts.
Beautifully written. That’s it. That’s all i can say!
Beautiful.
Motherhood is a kick in the face. But the most amazing one yet! I’m also a young (naive) mother, and it has been everything and nothing that I thought it would be. It’s my heart walking around outside my body. And I don’t think it is something you can prepare for. It isn’t something that you can witness and know or study from a parenting book. It’s a journey that is genuine and unique to each mother.
You said it PERFECTLY. I completely agree with what you’ve written the last few days. Motherhood is harder than a lot of people think and it’s great to have someone step up to the plate and acknowledge that it’s not all puppies and rainbows… but it’s still so worthwhile!
Thank you for being so real.
Motherhood for me last night was dragging my two-year-old out of Kindermusik early last night because he couldn’t share and was throwing the biggest hissy fit I’ve ever seen from him, then him coming to me and kissing me and putting his head on my chest…and me completely forgetting why he was in trouble in the first place. :) Sneaky, kids are.
The ocean post was one of my favorites too. And motherhood is beyond any imagination. I used to think people were annoying when they said that. Then I found out it was true. The immense love and responsibility for this little life can be as overwhelming as it is amazing. The love between parent and child helped me to understand the hugeness of God’s love for me in a whole new dimension. The idea of being a child of God never blew my non-mother mind. Now I am in awe of those verses and the way he loves me.
Beautful and amen!
This is a beautiful post and you are so very wise for your age. :)
I love your words for how true, honest, and beautiful they are…and I love you for being you and for encouraging me on my own journey of motherhood. You are so right – you CAN’T really know what it’s going to be like until you are a mom. I was talking to a friend today about how I had all the expectations and hopes for how labor/delivery would go with my first ( – I wanted a natural, minimal intervention birth at the hospital – )…until I was two weeks overdue, agreed to an induction, was in labor for over 20 hours, and screamed for an epidural…and that’s probably the moment I realized motherhood was not going to be perfect or predictable or easy. But, it is so, SO worth it and I wouldn’t trade a day of my struggles. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing these words today!
Thank you for being so honeset about motherhood. I almost feel like it takes the pressure off needing to be the perfect new mom. It’s ok to be overwhelmed. Thanks for being you.
Yes yes yes yes yes yes. YES!
The other thing is that saying that we’re unprepared for the experience – and even having difficulties with it – doesn’t mean that we’d change it. That we’d undo our family situation or wish to go back to our pre-baby lives. It doesn’t make us lesser mothers.
Kudos to you for saying these things out loud!
True! Just because I’m blindsided doesn’t mean I’d have it any other way. Well said!
this is beautiful allison!
Just wanted you to know I linked to your post today on my blog. I had a rough night with my 6-week old and was too tired to post. Instead, I’m sending my readers over to your blog to read about motherhood! I LOVE your blog and feel I can relate so much. It’s really inspiring me through this difficult phase right now with my baby boy.
your words couldn’t be truer. motherhood is such an enormous task/job/livelihood and no one can be fully prepared for it. and you are NOT naive. maybe young, but not naive. you have a better grasp on life than most people our age and you love your little man… nothing else should matter. :)
by the way, that post about Micah going to the ocean was one of my favorites of all time. your wording and the pictures always give me chills when i read it!
You are so one of my favorite people right now.
So TRUE!! ;D
SO true and beautifully written.
I have been a mother for nearly fourteen years and still feel unprepared for it. Each day brings new challenges and headaches though I would never change it for the world. It is the best job in the world. The gift that God gave us in our children.
Your post is beautiful thank you for sharing.
Sara xx
i’m always blown away by how eloquently you write. i really love reading about your experiences, and am tucking away your little bits of wisdom for the future.
Tell the truth, sista. Tell the truth. (Said in my best gospel church accent)
You are quickly becoming my favorite blogger. I love your honesty, and the way you put things so….perfectly!
Love the part about how looking at your child sometimes can physically make your heart ache. I don’t know the answer to this either, but I tell my children all the time, “I love you so much it hurts”, and I ask my husband all the time, “why does the very sight of those sweet little boys make me want to cry?!”
I completely agree with you. We were crazy to ever believe we could possibly be prepared to be moms or know exactly what to expect as moms.. I feel the same way about being a wife. It is constantly changing and growing. We will always have new things to deal with and work through.
i dont know..i feel that i was prepared for motherhood. i’ve not been shocked yet. i always figured i’d love my child so much and it would be awesome (and very terrible at times). maybe its because i basically helped raise my younger sisters and cousins and have been a nanny and worked in a preschool and just generally been around small children my entire life?
I have to say … while I know I will SO not be prepared for motherhood, when I someday have the blessing of being a mom – I am SO SO SO thankful for my new friends, like you!, who are teaching me SO much. The wisdom you are passing along is irreplaceable.
Thank you!!
Motherhood is sooooo freaky cool – you got right! Work hard to raise an “unordinary” child to live an “unordinary life”! Keep up the good work…. and sleep when you can. The Artful Cradle.