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dieting verbal vomit.

February 7, 2012: 173lbs – 14lbs lost!

I think I’m in a really bad place today when it comes to choosing health and my Medifast journey, so, you should probably take this post with a grain of salt.

Or maybe something with less sodium. A grain of potassium chloride? Anyway.

I have lost sight of the light at the end of the tunnel.

Maybe it’s because I’m only down one pound this week, my lowest loss since I started my journey. Maybe it’s because I lost that pound right away this week and have been staring at the same number for 6 days. (To be honest, I didn’t post my weight update yesterday because I was SURE I would see that lower number this morning. Alas, no. 173 it is. Again.)

Maybe it’s because I’m waiting on my next order of Medifast meals to come and in the meantime I’m down to my not-so-favorite meals (a couple of soups, soft serve, and shakes. None of them have any crunch to them. I like crunch).

Maybe it’s because on a date night (eating out) and at our Superbowl party I had to say ‘no’ to things I really, really wanted. Maybe it was just a hard week.

I feel like I will have to turn away every decadent treat for the rest of my life, which is not true, but it feels like it when you’re 14lbs and 6 weeks in with 33lbs (and WHO KNOWS HOW LONG) still to go. I know in my head that every time I say ‘no’ to that dessert or make a healthy snacking choice when I’d rather make a poor one, that it is a victory but in my heart (and stomach) it feels like a loss. You know what I mean?

I could wrap up with “slow and steady” or “eyes on the prize” or some other motivating cliche, but I’m really not feeling it. If you need me, I’ll be over here eating my spinach salad with fat-free dressing for lunch when what I’d really like to be having is macaroni and cheese with bacon in it (I’m looking at you, Noodles and Company).

My Journey to Health:

February 7, 2012: 173lbs

January 30, 2012: 174lbs

December 30, 2011, 187 lbs

14 lbs lost!

:: :: :: :: :: ::

Want to join me this year on Medifast? (Because, you know, I made such an exciting and compelling argument for it in this post…) If you use the coupon code, OFAMILY56, and sign up for Medifast Advantage, when you order $250+, you’ll receive 56 free Medifast Meals and free shipping! (More details at the bottom of this post.)

Disclosure: I receive free product in order to evaluate and comment on my experiences on the Medifast Nursing Mothers Program. I will only ever tell you how I actually feel about this experience and the Medifast products. Pinky swearsies. I am supposed to tell you that the Medifast Program is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or illness and that any medical improvements noted while on the program are related to weight loss in general, and not to Medifast products or programs. K, you got that? Good. There will be a quiz later.

18 Responses to “dieting verbal vomit.”

  1. ann @ my life as prose.

    aw, allison, we all have those days, friend. hang in there. also … you should totes go back and reread your own posts. becaues a) you should still celebrate those crazy victories! 14 lbs in 6 weeks?? what the what?? and b) you’re still heading in the negative direction, which is totally a positive.

    i know you know this stuff, i’m just saying it over for you, and hopefully it will help. keep on keepin on, friend. you’re making really good decisions, and even though it’s hard, it’s totally the right thing, and you should feel *pride* in that.

    go look at skinny pictures of yourself :)

    Reply
  2. Susan

    Hang in there! You’re doing such a great job. It’s hard work making good choices for the sake of your health and for your children who really want and need their mom in their lives today and for years and years to come. It would be unrealistic to think the journey will be fun every step of the way. But you have pulled yourself through challenges much tougher than this in your past, and you will arrive at the end of that tunnel. And you’ll be so thankful and proud of yourself when you do.

    Reply
  3. Jessamyn

    just wanted to encourage you to stick it out! you can do it! it may not seem like it now, but what you’re doing will have so much impact on the rest of your life. the more you make healthy choices now the more you will continue to for the rest of your life. my mom was overweight by a lot my whole life and it always affected our family and i also felt like i didn’t know how to help her – it was discouraging and i have memories of our family choosing to do non-active many times things because my mom couldn’t do them. you don’t want to be that (not that you’re there right now), but what you’re doing will have such an impact on your boys’ lives and future kids’! so it’s so worth it! keep going! :)

    Reply
  4. Helen Davies

    Oh you poor thing!! Bad days are hard. But keep going and remember, if you do have a little stumble, it’s only a stumble, and you can get straight back on the wagon. Your story has been inspiring me and although we don’t have medi fastl in australia (I checked) I have been dieting in other ways. As always, Allison, you are an inspiration- even on your hard days!! Keep going girl!

    Reply
  5. Janelle

    You can do it! I hear you on the soups….eh…not my faves. I am into the pb bar, swiss mocha shake (with a 2 oz shot of espresso) pancakes, honey mustard pretzels. I caved on Superbowl Sunday. Didn’t gain anything but the guilt hit me hard. My husband went to a naturalistic doctor in Kansas city a couple of years ago and had a bunch of blood work, etc done. He sent us home with diet plans to follow. But one of his words of wisdom was: Choose 2 meals a week to eat WHATEVER you want! Then, next meal…get back to business. Knowing I have that liberty makes me feel not so constricted and less guilt ridden. Especially after the hot wings I had on Sunday. oops. :) I am down 12 pounds! Thanks for the motivation!

    Reply
  6. Kristy

    Hey Allison,

    I just wanted to tell you that I completely understand. I have been going through the same thing for the last few months. I lost 23 pounds in 12 weeks and I thought “That’s it?! I still have 80+ pounds to lose. At this rate I am going to be missing out on good food FOREVER!” I thought about giving up, BUT…this is all or nothing thinking. You don’t have to miss out on everything you love. You can have anything you want, just in resonable quantities. I usually eat healthy. I eat healthy for breakfast, lunch, and my afternoon snack. Then for dinner I eat moderately healthy. Occasionally I really want something like a soda, or a half a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, and I HAVE it. I have it, and I don’t feel guilty. I just know that whenever I consume something unhealthy, that I will have to lift my legs a little higher at Zumba that night. I just know that I WILL be taking that afternoon walk at work tomorrow. It’s all about balance. Give yourself the credit you deserve, don’t restrict yourself so much, and last but not least, know that you are beautiful the way you are…inside and out and the weight will come off when it is ready to. You barely had a baby woman, give yourself a break! :-)

    Take care,

    Kristy

    Reply
  7. Savannah

    Thanks for posting this, you articulated so much better than I could have! I feel the same way. I’m pretty discouraged right now. I’m down to my last 8lbs to lose, but been stuck here for I can’t even remember how long! Now I feel like I’m self sabatoging sometimes and just saying to myself “well, it’s not coming off so I’ll just eat 3 of these 306 calorie cookies since it doesn’t seem to matter anyway!” hopefully we can both find the strength to have more waistline victories!

    Reply
  8. Kassie

    I think we all have those days where its just tough! I’m nearing the end of my first trimester and I know I should be doing better. I know I should have said no to a whole sleeve of thin mints last night because later it will benefit me, but my stomach wanted them so bad! You’re doing great!

    Reply
  9. Maggie

    Hey, girl, just wanted to encourage you–I had mad respect for you Sunday evening, truly. You’re looking great (and those jeans are fantastic) and your self control was inspiring!

    Reply
  10. Sarah-Anne

    I so admire your posts because while you are real, that means you post the good & not so good…and even just plain BAD stuff life throws at you.
    Just commit this weight loss week to the Lord! Silly maybe. But He wants us to come to Him about everything. And then, reward yourself with a Shamrock shake or something because YOU deserve it for being you.

    Reply
  11. Sidnie

    You’re doing this, Allison.
    YOU are doing this.
    You ran a half marathon.
    You lost 14lbs in 6 weeks!
    You are wearing jeans you couldn’t wear 6 weeks ago!

    I?
    I have lost 0lbs in 6 weeks.
    I haven’t ran a half marathon.
    I haven’t even ran a mile.

    You’re lapping me. You’re lapping a lot of us.
    You’re an encouragement to me… that once I get all this other stuff squared away- I know I can focus on my weight, on what I eat, on wearing jeans that make me feel good.

    You see that 1lb lost and feel defeated. We see your 1lb lost and see determination and inspiration.
    :)

    Love you, friend. Keep going.
    Your hard work will pay off.

    Reply
  12. Mallory

    girl don’t give up! you can do it, Add some spice back into your life. Switch up your work out, or your tea, or anything it will bring you back to excitement. Your body is probably used to what you have been doing so once you switch it up and get back into it 100% you will see that number change again!

    Reply
  13. Liz

    I have to be honest. I sort of want to berate you about this. I followed my plan all week and was up .6 lbs. You lost weight, and more than that you are nearly a third of the way through the process. That’s huge!

    But on the other hand…I get it. I get not getting to eat what really sounds good, and getting bogged down in it all and just wanting a break.

    But it doesn’t get you (or I anywhere). Fighting through the hard days on the other hand does…

    Reply
  14. Liz Thomson

    Hang in there!! Just like in pregnancy….some weeks of zero weight gain and then weeks of gaining a lot!

    Reply
  15. Molly @ Little Stories Everywhere

    You are doing so, so, so great!!!! Keep your chin up buttercup!

    Now that I’m done with encouraging you can I tell you how all I seem to eat is total and complete CRAP. I just can’t seem to get my head in the game. Sure, I’ve lost all of my baby weight…but now I have lots-o-giggle:(.

    Keep on keepin’ on…

    :)

    Reply
  16. Sarah

    I just wanted to say that i have been lurking on your site for a couple of years, but I am not normally one to leave comments. I am also really horrible at updating my own blog! I’m posting now because weight loss is something that I’ve taken out back and beaten the crap out of, yet I’m certainly not an expert nor a certified or practicing professional (yet). I myself have lost a total of 115 pounds. I’ve been at or within 3 pounds of my goal weight for a year when April first comes around. I had much more to lose than you, although I have no children to make things more hectic, and harder to find the time to do things like exercise and meal plan. It can seem so overwhelming and disappointing when the weight loss slows down.

    however, 1 pound of weight loss is great! slow and steady DOES win the race and helps you KEEP winning it. It took me a year and a half of hard work, sacrifice, dedication and lots of mini self realizations to reach my goal. I consistently lost about 1 to 2 pounds every week. No more than that, and sometimes less. It just has to become your life, a habit like brushing your teeth every morning. It is not a diet! its not a means to an end. This is your new path to health and happiness, and an opportunity to show yourself what you are capable of and to show your children what faith and determination and attitude can accomplish. I know it gets hard, and I know it seems like victory is so far away, just a twinkle in your eye. DO NOT focus on that, take it week by week, and day by day. Live in the moment and before you know it, you’ll wake up one morning and you’ll be there. It will take your breath away, and you’ll know that you EARNED it. Which will make it that much easier to STICK with it and not gain it back.

    Its a long journey, and it is not just about weight loss. It is about self discovery, loving who you are and knowing that you’ve truly done your best. Keep with it. You have tons of people here supporting you and cheering you on. Speak positively to yourself, not disrespectfully. Cheer yourself on! Celebrate the small successes. For me success was eating healthier, making sure I stayed within a healthy set of calories for the amount of working out I was and am doing (yes I still do all this, maintenance is still a journey in and of itself) and always finding the time to work out and going into it with a positive mental attitude. Knowing that even if the weight on the scale didn’t go down, my pants fit better. Also, do not beat yourself up if you slip up a day or so..just keep going! We are only human!

    Making all the changes that you are making will help you spiritually, emotionally, physically…it makes you a better person, and more able to cope with things around you, and more able to give more of yourself, and also to know your limits. You will grow! You will learn! You will teach! You will do it! I promise!

    Reply
    • AllisonO

      Girl. Bless your heart for taking the time our to write this. I am so thankful for you!

      Also, I think you should copy this an post it on your blog! More people should hear this encouragement, plus hey! content for your blog! :)

      Reply
  17. Margaret

    Hang in there! The weight loss should be slow to remain healthy, right? While you’ve had some monster weeks, remember your own words from the beginning of your journey: “…my weight loss…is not to exceed 2lbs a week.”

    It is so natural for it to feel like a struggle — it is hard work becoming a different woman inside and out! You are doing great!

    Reply

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