(And those of you who just panicked that we’re rubbing elbows with the NATO protests, no worries. When we say “Chicago” in this family, we mean the incredibly suburban Wheaton, IL which is where DanO and I met and went to college. I haven’t seen but one skyscraper on this trip.)

Just like that we were less than 24 hours from a 7 hour road trip with two kids two and under (good thing I did that segment on family trips, huh?)

To be fair, we were planning on taking the trip already, but were going to leave Saturday. O and we had done absolutelyzero packing or planning. Thursday night I did laundry like a desperate housewife and after DanO worked a half day, we managed to get in the car and on the road by 11:45am on Friday.

With one entirely unexplained standstill of an exception, the road trip went fantastically. The boys were content and entertained themselves well, we were able to line up potty/eating/gas stops, and we made great time. We stopped and visited with friends first thing when we got into town and pushed our sweet boys to their bedtime limits. We headed to the hotel at 9.

Opening the door in the hotel parking lot, we heard ad loud HISSING noise, none other than the hissing of pressurized air escaping from our tire really, really quickly.

That, friends, is the hunk of metal that imbedded itself in our tire in the hotel parking lot.

This is where DanO deserves accolades from here to the moon because he took this set back so very well. We heard the hissing, accepted the reality of the situation, and went into the hotel to put the boys down. We’d deal with the tire (change it to a spare, make plans to have it fixed in the morning) after our very patient, very tired boys were sleeping.

“We’re out of cribs. I’m so sorry. There is a 24 hour Meyers down the street that may carry portable cribs you could purchase?”

Except for, you know, needing a functional car to drive to a store and buy a crib at 10 o’clock at night. 

Cue: ugly cry in front of the customer service desk.

Again. DanO? Steadfast as a boulder. Me? A sloppy puddle on the floor.

So what do you do at 10pm when you’re 7 hours from home with a hissing tire and no way to contain your very mobile 1 year old in a hotel room?

(Right after tweeting your frustrations, obviously,) You wipe off your tears, decide against marching down to the lobby and cussing someone out, put every mattress in the whole dang place on the floor in your hotel room and you throw a big ‘ol slumber party. (Family bed for the win!)

Except then this happened:

True story.

This is the beauty of the interwebs to me. This is the give and take of the online community. The support and living-life-together that can happen when people share their lives in this world wide web of space.

I may have introduced you to sunscreen wipes and you might loan me your pack and play when we’re visiting your city. Beautiful. Simply beautiful.

(This is the part where we all have a big group hug of our laptops and braid each others’ hair.)

You better believe I have pictures.

But here’s the thing. None of that is coming off my fingers into a blog post (no matter how hard I try) because my head is swirling and whirling about this:

Tomorrow I will be on TV.

The program is Kare 11 Today (on NBC) and I will be talking with the hosts about how to prepare for a day trip this summer with littles kiddos. The interview will be live and should air some time around 11am here in the twin cities. I am so very excited and so very nervous.

I know what I’ll be talking about and am comfortable with my talking points, but you guys.

WHAT DO I WEAR?

::discuss::

Brothers, let us come together
Walking in the Spirit there’s much to be done
We will come reaching out from our comforts
And they will know us by our love

Nervous, excited, shy, anxious, giddy, we filled the kitchen and our conversations spilled into the entryway and living room. We cuddled up in the den with blankets, the fireplace lit and videos of Jesus women projected on the wall and into our hearts. They showed us how God has been using these silly little websites we write to bring women together, protect unborn life, break the chains of slavery, heal hearts.

Sisters, we were made for kindness
We can pierce the darkness as He shines through us
We will come reaching with a song of healing
And they will know us by our love

The Spirit wove its way through that room, 32 women we sat, hearing how we can use our words to bring light, to create, to heal. We passed kleenex. We were filled to the measure with courage. We were reminded what a gift these words are that we’ve been given. May we wield our words to His Glory.

The time is now
Come church arise
Love with His hands
See with His eyes
Bind it around you
Let it never leave you
And they will know us by our love

{A mere fraction of our group because I totally forgot to take a group picture while everyone was still there.}

{Song Lyrics from By Our Love, Christy Nockles}

:: :: :: :: :: ::

I loved being a part of (in)RL here in Minnesota, but did you know that sisters met up all over the world?!

Friends and readers (who are friends I just haven’t met yet), Nicci of Changing the Universe. Nicci of Changing the Universe, friends and readers.

{Exchange pleasantries. It’s cool. I’ll wait.}

Nicci is the talent behind Changing The Universe – The Shop, O My Family’s current featured sponsor! She is a local Minnesotan who is following through on a dream of hers: opening a handmade shop.

“I started Changing the Universe – The Shop in February after I’d spent my Christmas vacation teaching myself how sew these coasters and pillow covers and tweaking their design to make them fit me. Since I started, I’ve become a fabric-a-holic! “

{I love the colors in this set, and I’m a sucker for fabrics with text on them.}

Isn’t that so great? I can totally get behind a work-at-home-mom pursuing her passions and honing her skills. This kind of thing makes me all excited and goose-fleshy. Yay for dream-following!

Nicci shared with me a little more about  Changing the Universe – The Shop.  “You’ll find fun and funky fabric coasters and throw pillow covers in a variety of patterns and colors, sure to add a punch of style to any room of your home! Everything you see listed in the CtU storefront is pre-made and ready to ship. When your order is placed, it will be out the door in 1-3 days!”

I love that the coasters are soft and kid friendly (unlike those heavy glass or chewy cork ones). We have bid adieu to more than a couple of coaster sets in this home. (O, look, Mommy! A sharp-cornered metal and glass thing to throw!) Sturdy but soft felt-lined cloth coasters are a much better option.

I know what you’re thinking. You want to ask Nicci: So you make vibrant pillow cases and coasters, huh? Awesome! Tell me a little more about yourself.

To which, Nicci says, “Sure!…I’m a wife of 4 years to Tim and a mom of 2 1/2 years to Aric. I work full time out of the home in the social services field, which I adore. Oh, and I’m a full time grad student, studying to be a Special Education teacher! When I have coveted free time, I’m either melted into the couch watching trashy reality TV, or I’m hunched over my sewing machine or laptop … with trashy reality TV on in the background.”

You can find her blog here, her tweets here, and her facebook page here.

{Now, Real Housewives of Atlanta, anyone?}

Ok, you’re right. This is neither the time nor the place for trashy TV talk. Instead, how about this:

I am thrilled to announce that O My Family is giving away a $30 shop credit to Changing the Universe – The Shop to one friend or reader (who is a friend I just haven’t met yet)! The shop credit works on anything, including shipping, up to $30.

Leaving a comment on this post is all you have to do to enter! Of course, for those over achievers, you can gain one extra entry by tweeting this:

O how I love @sticky41284! Check out their $30 shop credit giveaway by @OMyFamily here: http://omyfamilyblog.com/?p=11928

Just tweet it and come back here to leave ONE ADDITIONAL comment on this post letting me know that you tweeted and what your twitter name is. Any comments that don’t follow these rules will be deleted. (Play fair, friends!)

This giveaway closes at 9:00pm CST Monday April 30th. The winner will be announced the next day.

A little shop keeping for Changing the Universe: May 6th is the last day to order for guaranteed delivery by Mother’s Day. Also, OMF readers can use the code OMYFAMILY to save 10% on their orders!

Good luck!

Disclosure: Changing the Universe – The Shop is a paid sponsor of O My Family and has provided the spoils of this giveaway today. The shop credit is good for one transaction only; any remaining credit balance will be surrendered after purchase.

Show me a need of yours and I will meet it. If I notice something admirable in you, I will tell you such. Spend an hour chatting over a mug of chai with me and I’m yours forever.

On the other side of that, I am a people pleaser, a severe conflict avoider, a lover, not a fighter, which means that sometimes I get walked on. Sometimes when people are not happy with me, I let it get way too far under my skin. Just ‘brushing it off’ is not really a skill I posses when it comes to conflict with others. I replay conversations with people, regretting the things I should have said or done until I dig myself a big pit of self-pity where I stay until, by some miracle, I climb out of it.

I love you guys, you know that, right? I really do consider you friends and readers (who are friends I just haven’t met yet). I wouldn’t trade the joy I get from the connections with beloved friends to get rid of the sleepless nights spent worrying about how I upset someone. I wouldn’t.

I’ll just have to drink more chai and use more concealer for those dark circles under my eyes.

Happy Tuesday!

Love,

O My Family

most unexpectedly

Motherhood is a series of lost and found blessings.

The blessing of carrying a sweet baby around in your tummy is lost, the blessing of birth is given.

The blessing of a fresh, snugly, warm newborn is lost, the blessing of an alert, smiling peanut is given.

The blessing of a chubby cheeked  toddler is lost, the blessing of a talkative, imaginative pre-schooler is given.

At each stage I find myself mourning what was – what I’ve lost, who my boys were at such and such age – but each time I am blown away by the unexpectedly beautiful next stage.

The assurance that what comes next will also be a blessing allows me to enjoy today without fear. Knowing this, that each blessed stage ends, makes me want to dwell that much more in the moment, drinking in who my boys are that day because surely they will be different tomorrow.  But tomorrow will be a blessing as well. I don’t have to cling to today as though the end of this stage will mean the end of the blessing and the beautiful, because another will be most unexpectedly given in its place.

Even when I can’t fathom what could replace the sweetness of a standing, cruising, smiling OBrother or a creative, enthusiastic OBoy, I can know and trust that it will come, and that it, too, will be a blessing.

The more times I experience this cycle – loss and then unexpected blessing – the less unexpected it becomes.

Praise God, I can trust in the unexpected blessings of tomorrow.

That’s Photographer Me Ra Koh talking about lighting and composition in her Blissdom Photography track session “shoot like a woman”. OBrother and I attended this session and spent most of it in the back where he could crawl around. O, and there were mirrored doors back there, so that was win.

In any session I attended, unless OBrother was already asleep in the sling or pack on me, I usually gravitated toward the back or side of the room. If you’ve ever had a baby at a church service, you’re probably familiar with this tactical approach as well. Being in the back allows you to move, rock, pace, stand up, sit down (fight fight fight! – high school football cheer? Anyone? Bueller?) without blocking others’ view or being a distraction.

Can I take a moment here to tell you how much I love nursing? I was able to conveniently feed my baby without missing a beat of Me Ra’s really incredible session. I leaned my back against the wall and nursed him, then when he was done I let him roam.

There are two important aspects to bringing a baby into conference sessions without being a distraction to others (but also being able to benefit yourself). The first is knowing your baby. Does s/he take off crawling the moment you set him or her down? Then you might want to keep them contained in a sling or pack. Is s/he a happy squawker? Then you might consider keeping a pacifier on hand. What kinds of things entertain your baby? Keep several options handy.

For me, I know that OBrother is kind of a slow crawler at this point (but boy does he have that army thing DOWN) so I wasn’t worried about him getting up to the podium while I was jotting down notes for 2 seconds. I also know he is babbler and at times something of a screaming banshee (No, honestly. The eardrums. They doth protest.). When he wasn’t kissing himself in the mirror or nursing, he often had a pacifier in to limit the noise. I also LOVE that he is the age where everything is new and exciting. I did pack toys and books, of course, but sometimes it was the crinkly wrapper of my Medifast bar that kept him happy.

The second component of having a baby in the sessions is timing. Try your very best to walk into the beginning of a session with all of the baby’s immediate needs met. New diaper, recent snooze, and had a little solid food in him or her (if they’re old enough). That way you won’t be wiping up poop (or leaving to do so), bouncing and shushing, or picking smashed cheerios up off the floor in the back of the conference room. Obviously, as the attendee you don’t have the ability to shift things back 20 minutes so your little one can nap, but you do have the conference schedule laid out ahead of you from the get-go. Take a minute and familiarize yourself with the flow of things, when the breaks are, and plan to at least try to take care of things before walking into a session.

When the stars aligned for me and those items had been taken care of, attending sessions was a snap. Obviously, planning ahead is not always going to be good enough, especially with a baby. (Can I get an amen?)

With all my planning, I still missed a session so that OBrother could take a good nap laying down and not in the pack. We had been to both of the morning sessions where he had dozed off for a while as I wore him, but I could tell he was getting fussy and that a pack-nap was not going to cut it. At that point, I had to decide  for OBrother’s sake and mine that preemptively bowing out of the last session of the day was better than pacing up and down the back of the room trying to get a fussy baby to sleep. And I should say this: I missed sessions here and there at other conferences I’ve attended without my baby for a plethora of other reasons (usually to chat/eat cupcakes with friends) so a missed session is by no means the plight of the baby mama. It’s the reality of fast paced conferences!

One last thing: a really freaking cute baby.

You’re welcome.

:: :: :: :: :: ::

Click here for part one of this series, Parties and Night Life.

I am so enjoying sharing about bringing my baby to Blissdom, and I have more to say! Packing and babywearing, and ‘the s word’. (Not that one, silly. ‘Sleeping’.) I hope you’ll come back over the next few days.

I realized they were all of my baby.

Which is accurate, really. Bringing an almost-10-month-old across the country to an event is no easy task, and it’s not surprising at all that my experience and my photos were defined by OBrother. I want to write out what it was like to be part of the Blissdom Baby Brigade, but it’s so multi-faceted that I’m afraid it will take me a while. Bear with me?

Blissdom with a Baby, Part 1: the parties and the night life

I’m starting with this topic because it was the aspect of the trip I found the hardest to negotiate with a baby. Blissdom is known for impossibly awesome special events during the conference. (We had a private Rascal Flatts concert Friday night. True story.) The parties are loud and late, an unenjoyable combination for a baby. I tried having OBrother take an extra late nap to (hopefully) extend my curfew, but I don’t know that it was actually effective.

The first evening of the conference, the kick off party was a total baby-bust for me. OBrother wanted nothing to do with the noise, he wanted nothing to do with letting me stand still and talk to people, and he surely wanted nothing to do with actually sleeping in the pack on me so I could socialize while he snoozed. I was discouraged and, yea, some quiet tears might have rolled down my cheeks as I paced outside the party area trying to get him to settle so I could go back in long enough to eat my fajita. I wasn’t successful. Sweet Nish of Nish Happens walked with me for a while, and after a nice chat with Megan of Sorta Crunchy and the fantastically pregnant Lora of Vita Familiae, OBrother and I called it a night pretty early.

That evening I had a revelation that made the rest of the conference so much better: I am here for the sessions and the connections, if I get to party, too, awesome. If not, O well.

I think that’s true both at conferences and on the average day. Said in terms of everyday life: Focus on the necessities. If I get some free time or an extra errand run, awesome. If not, O well. I know this about the daily grind with my boys, but there’s something about being at a special function like a conference that makes me want to be able! to! do! everything! High expectations are not a baby mama’s friend. In fact, the more realistic my expectations, the less frequent my meltdowns.

Let me say that again, if only because I need to hear it.

The more realistic my expectations, the less frequent my meltdowns.

Expectations with a baby, with a toddler, with a spouse, at home, running errands, at a conference (in a box with a fox?). I’m not saying never try things outside your expectations (I still went to the party even if I didn’t stay), but the difference is if it works out? AWESOME. If not, no prob, Bob.

And can I tell you something? I had more fun sitting in the hall with Kim of Prairie Mama (my roommate) after the party eating a ridiculous dessert  than I had at the official conference cocktail shin-dig.

{Morgan of the 818, Kim of Prairie Mama and her baby boy, Me and OBrother, Beth Anne of Heir to Blair}

{aka my tribe.}

The next night was the Lorax party which was a little more my speed. The room was still loud but it started a little earlier, the crowd was much more manageable, and the vibe was relaxed. Shortly after arriving I found two sweet friends I hadn’t seen since 2010 – Morgan and Beth Anne – and we were chatting about the evening’s schedule. When I shared that I had just decided to be OK with not seeing Rascal Flatts that night on account of OBrother’s bedtime, they said they weren’t even planning to attend and asked if they could…

WAIT FOR IT…

babysit him while I went to the concert.

You guys. The tears again, only this time happy quiet tears.

{photo credit Nancy Doud www.nancydoud.com}

So yea, I got down with my bad self to the songs of Rascal Flatts and some guy whose last name is Jonas (that’s all I have to say about that) while sweet friends snuggled my baby.

The next (and last) night, OBrother and I stayed in because it was really what we needed to do. Guess what? I don’t feel deprived or bummed or regret-ty. I nursed him to sleep, then I wrote, I packed, I showered, I rested. It was perfect. I heard the party was fun (karaoke! pajamas!) and I’m so glad it was. I’m also so glad I had that first night realization and had peace about letting my baby sleep instead of trying to do it all.

I have so much more to share about bringing a baby to Blissdom over the next few days – packing and babywearing, attending the sessions, and ‘the s word’. (Not that one, silly. ‘Sleeping’.) I hope you’ll come back.

Ok, so we all know how stressed I feel about bringing my 9 month old baby to BlissDom tomorrow, but do you know what I’m not stressed about for the first time ever at a blogging conference?

My appearance.

I weigh 20lbs less than I did when I bought my ticket to BlissDom in December. 20 freaking pounds! When I set out to pack clothes for this trip, it was so very different than packing for conferences has been in the past for me. I’m not worried about ‘muffin top’ on my jeans because they’re all too big anyway (except my new black skinny jeans. O how I love my black skinny jeans). I bought 2 new shirts that I feel cute and comfortable in without having to search very hard. I even went out and bought a new bra because there’s no way to lose 20lbs and not need a new bra. (true story.)

I found myself easily able to put together several outfits which don’t make me feel at all self-conscious. But honestly, it’s more than that. I feel comfortable in the body onto which I am putting those clothes.

That’s not to say that I’m done losing my weight. Ooooo no, this journey is not over (not even half over), but to weigh less than I have since getting pregnant with OBrother? O my lanta does it ever feel good.

At this, my 6th blogging conference, I am bringing 20 fewer pounds of weight, but so, so much more than that in new confidence.

My Journey to Health:

February 21, 2012: 167lbs

January 30, 2012: 174lbs

December 30, 2011, 187 lbs

20 lbs lost!

This week I will be flying to Nashville for 5 days of BlissDom, an awesome social media conference… with my 9 month old baby boy.

When I bought my ticket and flights, I felt brave and empowered. Look at me, blogging world, I’m so dedicated to breastfeeding, babywearing, and attachment parenting that I bring my babies with me around the country. Huzzah!

But lately I am nothing short of frightened at the thought of traveling and being alone with my (unpredictable) kiddo at an event that I would, you know, actually like to be able to attend. Will he nap? Will he be quiet so I can hear the sessions I’m paying to attend? Will he let me sit and eat? Will he be bored? Will he sleep at night? Will he keep my roommate and her baby up? Will I get frustrated and steaming mad and want to just be home instead of in some strange hotel in another state?

Will I even enjoy myself?

The anxiety about this hasn’t come overnight. What started out as optimism and excitement – that I wouldn’t have to miss another BlissDom conference, that my roommate (the sweet Kim of Prairie Mama) and her baby would be in it with me, that so many awesome friends are going to be there – has degraded into fear.

I would have a long day with OBrother, he would get irritated that he didn’t get to nap in his crib, and I would start wondering how it would go in Nashville. He started getting teeth and learned to stand (see these circles under my eyes? I haven’t slept well in weeks) and in the wee hours of the morning I think about Nashville. Then it got to the point where every poor nap and every fussy afternoon became another reason why BlissDom was going to be stressful, which meant that fussiness from my baby then became fussiness from my baby and a going-to-be-ruined conference.

You guys. Anxiety is the devil’s playground.

I’ve been researching, preparing, packing, and losing so much precious sleep. Do you want to know what I stayed up thinking about last night? Well, do you?

What tote/purse/diaper bag/backpack should I bring? Because, I mean, I won’t be able to wear my diaper bag as a backpack because I will mostly be wearing OBrother in the ergo which is a pack, and I don’t like the shoulder straps on my diaper bag so that’s kind of out. I could bring my purse but that isn’t going to be big enough for a change of baby clothes plus diapering stuff plus MY stuff. My tote bag is big but it isn’t very structured, so when I set it on the ground it tips over and spills…

I think myself in these anxious little circles, like my dog before she commits to laying down in a certain spot. Around and around and around…

Diaper bag? Purse? Tote?

Ballet flats? Wedges? Riding boots?

Ring sling? Ergo? Stroller?

Laptop? Tablet? Paper and pen?

At 12:20am last night, after a sweat-inducing hour and a half of uselessly rolling potential situations around in my head, I had had enough. It suddenly occurred to me to let it go. Let each of these individual scenarios go as they come to mind. Now, letting go is easier said than done (thought?), so I made a mental exercise out of it. Each time an anxious thought  arrived in the forefront of my mind – which camera lens should I bring? – I literally pictured myself taking that object or situation and laying it down at God’s feet. I lay it there, and, here’s the important part, I pictured myself removing my hands from the object now sitting on the ground before my Heavenly Father.

O, sweet relief!

Can I be honest with you? A lot of my postpartum mental health issues were (are) anxiety centered. I have sat on a couch or three talking about this very thing as it related to my babies and my ability to parent. Anxiety and I are oft companions. But this? This mind’s-eye setting down of my worries and watching myself loose my grasp and leave them there, earth-bound at the Creator’s feet?

It has been a breakthrough for me.

{image source}