“O thank God.” I sigh-speak.

“Hi! It’s me!” (he says now).

In his hand he holds a skinny brown cylinder, an aluminum can I have come to love more than I thought possible. My heart leaps.

**Interruption to remind you:

This, week 8 of our kitchen remodel, is also week 5 of not having a stove. That is to say: I cannot boil water (except maybe in the microwave? Does that work?). As my friend Abby said, “Wishing you a speedy return to this century. Wait, they boiled water in ALL THE CENTURIES!!!!” Since we do not own a coffee maker and making french press coffee (my usual) requires pre-boiled water, I am proverbially up coffee creek without a latte.

Until DanO comes unannounced through the front door brandishing an aluminum can like the knight in shining armor that he is.

I may not have the ability to boil water, but I can sure tell you what modern chivalry looks like.

I’ve lost my routine. Maybe it has something to do with the current state of my kitchen (you think?) and the amount of time DanO and I spend dedicated to this remodel. I have only worked out 3 times week these last two weeks. (Whoops.)

It’s not just a time and exercise thing, either. Many meals for us lately are microwaved. I’ll admit we’re eating a lot of processed food that I can throw on the table (3 cheers for chicken nuggets!). And I’m eating it too.

The good news (REALLY good news) is that even though my life is absolute chaos, when I put in some effort and eat most of my Medifast meals, I still lose weight. Slowly? Yes. Could be doing better? Yes. But undoing my progress? Nope! Making more progress (slowly)? YES!

My Journey to Health:

April 20: 160lbs

April 6, 2012: 161lbs

March 31, 2012: 163lbs

February 29, 2012: 166lbs

January 30, 2012: 174lbs

December 30, 2011, 187 lbs

27 lbs lost!

Remember that?

{what we wore}

-oboy and obrother: white oxfords – thrifted (gap). khaki pants – thrifted (polo and gap). ties – handmade by whimsical pudding. obrother’s shoes – old navy. oboy’s shoes – crocs.

-danO: coral and blue oxford – costco (represent!). khaki pants – target. belt – gap. shoes – (and I quote: ‘I have no idea’).

-me: dress – h&m. cardigan – target. yellow shoes – dsw, (steve madden). flower headband – handmade by the petal collection.

Whoop whoop! 2lbs this week! I am hopeful that this means I have left my plateau in the dust.

Thank you SO MUCH for your encouragement on my plateau post last week. Because of several suggestions in the comments, I tried to surprise attack my body this week. I worked out in the morning. I swapped out a cardio workout for an extra round of weight lifting. I ate a ridiculous amount of protein. I was hyper-vigilant about my water intake. I hit two 5 mile runs pushing a jogging stroller and a 27lb toddler (it’s like weights AND cardio!) in a 6 day span.

Y’all, this weight loss thing is hard. Honestly? It takes more effort and time and mental energy than I thought it would. I thought it just meant not putting certain things in my mouth and putting certain other things in on a regular basis. Well, that’s only part of it. The other parts, for me, are:

Diligent, diligent, diligent (did I mention diligent?) exercise. This means that for about an hour a day, 5 days a week, I am running or lifting. It’s a heckuva commitment (worth it, btw) and we’ve finally found a balance for our family after being at it for 8 months (since I started training for my half marathon). Most days I go after the boys are in bed. While DanO is putting the boys in their PJs, I put on my workout clothes. I nurse OBrother, lay him down (or pass him off to DanO) and book it out the door. This is the best way I’ve found to get an hour in and still feel like I have time with my husband in the evening, but it does mean that DanO is handling any post-bedtime struggles solo. It really is a family commitment.

Preparedness. The more prepared I am the easier it is to have self-control. When we go out for the day, I pack snacks for the kids and Medifast meals for me. If I get stuck without access to good food choices for several hours at a time, I’m in trouble. I prepare for going to the grocery store by eating a Medifast bar before leaving and chugging a boatload of water (a full stomach is a less-tempted stomach). At the grocery store, I help myself be prepared later by purchasing anytime snacks for myself (which also happen to be anytime snacks for the boys) – sugar snapped peas, carrot sticks, strawberries, grapes, and apples are a few favorites. I also always fill up my water bottle before leaving the house.

Educating myself. I have sat in the parking lot of Chipotle on my cell phone, pulling up their website and nutrition information from which I learned that the burrito tortilla, just the tortilla is 280 calories. I will only ever order a burrito bowl (all the insides in a bowl, no tortilla) ever again. I have asked the waitress at Red Robin for the nutrition information, whereupon she brought me a 4 inch 3 ring binder that weighed a good 10lbs. I subsequently poured over the entire thing and found that my only option was a plain chicken sandwich (no, not the salads; believe me, your best choice is not the salads). I pulled up the Ikea website and their restaurant nutrition facts at home on the computer before we went out to dinner there with my in-laws. (Go with the buffalo chicken wrap, but only eat half and save the other half for later.)

Being gutsy. I say no to things a lot. I turn down birthday cake when everyone else is having it. I am the only one who doesn’t eat (and rave about) baked goods at my moms group breakfast buffet. I sit quietly in conversations about people’s favorite Easter candies. It’s awkward. I’m not saying I sit there smugly, thinking ugh, those are so bad for you. I am sitting there thinking I am not there yet, but someday I will be. Someday I will enjoy a cupcake with everyone else at birthday parties from time to time. But for now, in order to get there, I have to be gutsy.

All of this takes time. It takes intention. It takes effort. But so far (even when I stall out on the scale for a couple of weeks) it has been worth it. Not easy, but worth it.

My Journey to Health:

March 31, 2012: 163lbs

March 23, 2012: 165lbs

March 8, 2012: 165lbs

February 29, 2012: 166lbs

January 30, 2012: 174lbs

December 30, 2011, 187 lbs

24 lbs lost!

Thanks Mama Bear for the question – always happy to share!

One day last week I was standing outside our front door bringing in groceries when a grey squirrel started clicking and yelling at me from my roof like it owned the place. It was comical, really, a rodent defending my house. Silly squirrel.

This morning when I made eye contact with the grey squirrel standing on my kitchen table, I was not laughing anymore.

Is this just my lot in life? To have various wild creatures invade my home?

I called DanO at work. “There’s a squirrel in the kitchen.”

“Der a quirrel in da kitchen Mommy?!!?” The two year old had overheard and the secret was out (thankfully like last time, OBrother was napping for the whole shebang). I spent the 5 minutes between the phone call and DanO’s arrival holding OBoy close to me and telling him that we would have to wait until Daddy was home to go meet the squirrel in the kitchen.

My life is so weird.

Also, can I point out here that we have a dog yet I was the one who noticed the squirrel? I’d say she’s not worth her weight in hunting abilities, but she only weighs 5lbs, so I guess maybe that’s about right.

By the time DanO got here, I had heard the sound of scratchy running on the stairs going down into the basement, so we started the search there. Our basement is something of a disaster, which was pro and con. Pro, we had zero guilt about recklessly shoving things out of the way to get to the squirrel, con, there were eleventy bajillion different places for the squirrel to hide.

A few frantic appearances, some walking up the walls, and lots of clicking/yelling later, we had him cornered. Speaking of that 5lb dog, her travel crate came in very handy at this point. Using towels and boxes, we gave the squirrel one escape route from his corner: the crate.

Victory is ours! You can imagine why I don’t have nearly as many pictures of this wildlife wrangling session as I did of the bird. Squirrels are crazy, yo.

In the foreground: the squirrel we found in our house. In the background: the bananas on my kitchen table.

Our toddler had stayed safely in the living room for the hunt, but was pretty excited about the result. “We hab new doggie now? We hab little quirrel doggie?”

(S sounds on the beginning of words are hard.)

After a phone call to animal control for some advice, it was decided that this evening we will be taking a family trip out to a state park at least 10 miles away and on the other side of a body of water to release him.

Which means that OBoy, OBrother, Coconut (which OBoy named our new furry friend) and I will be staring at each other all afternoon.

Friends and readers (who are friends I just haven’t met yet), Coconut. Coconut, meet my friends and readers.

My life is so weird.

This, friends and readers, is the weight I was when I found out I was pregnant with OBoy…

in 2008.

In fact, my go-to jeans (aka the ones least likely to fall off of me) right now are the trouser-cut pair I bought for casual Fridays at the office… when I worked in an office…

in 2008.

That was the year we celebrated our first anniversary, graduated from college (yes, in that order), moved to Minnesota, bought a house, and started this whole growing our family (at the cost of my body) adventure. Which is why I think it was so empowering to see that number on the scale – the one I haven’t seen since 2008. I feel like I’m getting my body back after sacrificing so much for so long. Worth it? YES. O, mercy hear me on this: the sacrifice has been so worth it.

But it’s also an incredible blessing to have this time to take care of myself, now. (You know, while I take care of them, too.)

My Journey to Health:

March 8, 2012: 165lbs

February 29, 2012: 166lbs

January 30, 2012: 174lbs

December 30, 2011, 187 lbs

22 lbs lost!

I count my calories. At 8pm, I’m over by 45 already and my options are to be satisfied for the day or to go burn a few hundred calories working out so I can have more. Specifically, so I can have that cup of yogurt with 2/3 cup granola on top (240 calories). I usually choose the workout (and the granola).

I toss the impulse cardigan into the red plastic cart. Its bright pink hue with on-trend pockets and generously sized buttons assure me I will feel pretty in it. You know what would go great with this cardigan? That taupe v-neck tee-shirt on the display next to it. But I can’t. I shouldn’t.

I wake to the sound of his slow, carefully measured steps on the stairs. It’s been what, 35 minutes since I dozed off? It’s as if they know which days Mommy lays down to rest, too and they intentionally cut their naps short on occasions such as this. I want to be happy that my groggy-headed toddler has emerged for the afternoon, but I also want to still be sleeping.

I’m not a fan of our kitchen, I’ll admit. After we finish the garage this summer, we’ll be entering the house awkwardly routed through the kitchen via the back porch. What if we made the porch part of the kitchen, though? We’d just have to gut everything in the porch, replace, raise and insulate the floor, replace the windows and door, patch part of the stucco,  tear out a large wall, and re-sheet-rock the whole thing.

I spent hours staring at a mostly white screen, waiting for the perfect words. Finally they came. I dug deep into the caverns of my soul and spilled out thoughts I’d hardly share with someone face-to-face, let alone anonymous masses on the internet. It was sure to resonate with people, to touch them, to change them. It got 4 comments.

I wanted to do lettuce again this year, but it seemed silly to plant just one veggie, so I also bought seeds for tomatoes, cucumbers, beans, zucchini, radishes, summer squash and herbs. We’ll also need supplies to build a raised bed, some lattice for the beans and cucumbers to grow on, and some good compost. Just like that, my small garden experiment has turned into a sizable undertaking.

I wonder if that twitter friend of mine has gone into labor yet. I should check. And that edgy blogger wrote a post that’s getting a lot of buzz, I should pull it up and read it. Did I ever text that friend back about our play date at the park? What’s the weather going to be like that day? Wait, why did I turn on my phone?

I lay my head on the pillow and replay the day. My thoughts are filled with should haves and shouldn’t haves. Tomorrow I’ll stick to my calories. Tomorrow I won’t stray from the shopping list. Tomorrow I’ll be the mom I ought to be. Tomorrow we’ll clean out the porch and start the planning process. Tomorrow I’ll write that perfect piece. Tomorrow I’ll plant the seed starters indoors. Tomorrow I’ll be more intentional with my screen time.

Way back when, when I started training for a half marathon and exercising regularly, I made a list. The list is of rewards that I will earn at each major weight loss milestone. In other words, I made this list in August. Exercising, doing crossfit workouts 2x a week, running 15+ miles a week… month after month… and I didn’t meet a single milestone. The list sat there, none of the goals met, none of the rewards received.

…until I started Medifast in late December. Now I have 3 Medifast meals and 3 regular meals a day, and I also am still running about 10 miles a week. Pound after pound (after pound), I made my way (weigh? Ba dum ch!) to the first milestone weight – 170lbs.

I saw 170 on the scale this Monday! My reward for hitting 170lbs was getting a massage (awesome, right?) so that very day I called and made an appointment (with a coupon, of course) to be pampered, and the appointment was last night. After having “170 – massage” written on my goals list for 6 months, I finally, finally, FINALLY got to check it off AND to reward myself. It felt so good – the massage and the achievement.

{it was like this, only, you know, different.}

Every 10lbs from here on out has a reward associated with it (but shhh… they’re my secret until they happen!), besides the intrinsic reward of getting my body back. The effort, the time, the discipline it’s taking to choose health, exercise, and have self-control have been demanding, but having a goals and rewards list is so encouraging (especially when I can actually reach the goals thanks to Medifast.)

Another reward? All of the sweet and encouraging comments on recent posts that include pictures or video of me. (PS I totally agree, y’all. My face is showing the weight loss. Loving it!)

My Journey to Health:

February 17, 2012: 170lbs

January 30, 2012: 174lbs

December 30, 2011, 187 lbs

17 lbs lost!