Lately I’ve found myself thinking “I am so old.” I’ll be a college graduate in mere days, I know every word to the songs that come on in the “90’s hour” on the radio, which makes my high school co-workers (see last post) look at me like “how bizarre, how bizarre…”. My knees hurt when I kneel for more than a few seconds, oh, and I’m married.
But let’s be honest, I’m not old at all. Unless of course you’re talking in terms of making the Chinese Olympic Gymnastics team, and in that case I have in fact missed the boat by a good 8 years.
I am sort of looking forward to it though – being old that is. My guess is that there are pros and cons to the last stages of life. Here are a few that I have been pondering:
Never missing a day of Oprah.
Con: 8:00pm bed time
Missing every single Colbert Report.
Pro: Dorm life, 2.0
Think about it: retirement homes (and college dorms) provide: a social calendar full of planned events, room/floor mates, provided food at a central location, a sense of community
Con: That old person smell
I don’t think you can ever wash that sucker off.
Pro: Free Time
200,000 piece jigsaw puzzle of Niagara Falls anyone?
I think that when the time comes, I will be one happy, retirement home livin’, grandchild cheek pinchin’, afghan knittin’ elderly person. For now though, I guess I’ll just have to *ahem* save the best for last.