wrong, wrong, wrong.

It’s 2-for-1 week for things going wrong. Get it while it’s hot.

Yesterday we drove to work separately instead of our usual carpooling. En route home, I called El Amazing DanO who’d been there for hours, because the plan was for him to start (a precooked, easy) dinner. Then, I heard a rattling sound that came from the front of our amazing, back-in-action, totally fixed Volvo.

And there it was again.

What is that? While on the phone, I started to describe the sound and ask him if he thought I should pull over and inspect, or just carry on. Mid-description, something went flying up the front of my hood, past the windshield, and up over the car.

“You should probably pull over.” He said. Indeed.

On the shoulder of the next exit, I stood staring at the driver’s side turn-signal casing that was literally hanging down on the front bumper, dangling from the wires that connect the bulb to the car. Fantastic, says the pregnant lady without her husband on the side of I-94. Thankfully, this lady is also Superwoman, because she detached the light casing, by herself, on the side of I-94.

Funny thing was, on the top of it was a smallish piece of duct tape.

Back on the phone: “Hey Hunny? Why is there duct tape on the car part that almost fell off in the middle of the freeway?”

“Well, it was there to help it stay in place…”

“I see.”

I was assured that that was the only unorthodox fix performed, and that it was perfectly safe to get back on the road.

In this.

Ok, so apparently I lied about the ‘totally fixed’ part. Oh, have I not told you about the classy blue hood on silver car look? That’s right, we’re those people. At least, until we take it to Maaco.

Mmmk, back to the precooked, easy dinner. DanO did fabulously, making the rice, heating up the frozen chicken pieces as directed, and adding the orange sesame sauce to all of the above. Yum. Some of it was hard to cut in half with my fork, but the meal was a 10 out of 10 for easy, 9 out of 10 for price, and 8 out of 10 for taste. I even packed some away for my lunch today.

First bite of my lunch, I couldn’t even break through with my teeth. Dang, that is some dense chicken, Costco. Finally I gave up and went to attack the sucker with a knife, when I saw this:

…is that…?! it totally is, isn’t it? that is straight raw chicken in my lunch. which means it was in my dinner. which means the box lied about the precooked thing (at least, lied about a good 25% of the pieces, according to my subsequent lunch dissection).

Someone at quality control for Kirkland Signature brand is NOT doing their job. Holy salmonella, how much uncooked poultry have I eaten in the last 18 hours?! Gross, gross, gross.

Too bad I’m not the lawsuit type.