dreams: a collection of short stories

There have been some good ones lately, folks. However, something about humidity, heat and my own general ginormousness has meant that my sleep has been markedly staccato. For my wild and epic dreams, this means that they have been less epic and more short film style. Maybe it’s just that I’m having so many epic dreams a night that I can’t recall the detailed epicness of just one. Instead, I am left with the general plot of many.

I’ll be sure to ask a sleep pathologist next time I run into one.

While they may not have all of the rising action and rich character development of my 2nd trimester dreams, there are definitely still some bizzaro things whirling around up there while I sleep for two. Also, they’re still so vivid that it takes me a while to shake them off after waking.

• DanO’s boss called and dictated his grocery list to him to complete as a special project this weekend. It included okra, which was sold out at every grocery store in the metro area. We drove to a local farm and picked some.
• Our gloriously beautiful and recently installed AC unit overheated and began spraying water like a fountain in our yard, causing our basement to flood (a nightmare I’ve lived through too many times).
• I was really down about being hugely pregnant and swollen and fat, so naturally DanO encouraged me to date around, boost my confidence a little. That made total sense, so I went speed dating. Good thing they make the guys move tables every 2 minutes, because standing and sitting at a rapid pace would be awkward, wouldn’t it? The pregnant lady struggling to keep up with the speed-dating rotation? Right up there with the awkwardness of that prom dream.…Huh? Oh, sorry. Ok, dreams.
• I was nursing Nugget and looked down to discover that he was in fact an African American female baby. This would be all fine and well, if DanO were not the least melanin carrying person known to man.
• DanO and I lived in Mexico and were fugitives from the Mexican police. One day as we were running to escape them, we came upon 8 African American Mexican children without parents, so we adopted them. The Mexican government left us alone after that. (I think I am subconsciously mourning the lack of diversity that my offspring will inherit.)
• Variations on a theme: labor and delivery:
  
• I delivered Nugget at my in-laws’ house (all of 10 min from our hospital).
• After arriving at the hospital, we were turned away by a labor and delivery nurse because we were “too young” to deliver there.
• There were 8 to 10 medical professionals in the room while I was pushing, all of them naked.
• It was the end of September and Nugget had not arrived yet (51 weeks of gestation anyone?) so my Midwife finally ordered a cesarean section.
• We decided to walk home from the hospital after delivering Nugget. It was a nice day.