what they don’t tell you about labor

You have a baby at the end, yes, but did you know that somewhere along the way, you also grow a third arm? I think it happens at that point when the contractions are so strong you really aren’t sure who you are, what year it is, or how the heck a former SNL cast member became your senator.

I don’t exactly remember its arrival, but I’m certain it came at some point because that’s the only explanation for what I’ve been able to do these last 12 days.

While holding an infant, I can:

  • make myself an iced chai
  • refill O My Family Dog’s food
  • take pictures
  • pour and eat a bowl of cereal
  • preheat the oven and throw in dinner
  • put on face lotion
  • put new gCloth inserts into the gDiapers
  • let O My Family Dog out
  • take recycling bins to the curb
  • write blog posts, emails, facebook messages, and texts
  • take the empty recycling bins back to the porch
  • start a load of laundry
  • water the front lawn
  • conquer the world

3 Responses to “what they don’t tell you about labor”

  1. melissa stover

    and eventually you’ll find out your third arm has grown longer and you can reach clear back into the vehicle to get a fallen pacifier.


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