how to keep your parents from sleeping

This is a guest post brought to you by  the littlest O:

9:00pm – Begin to fuss, reject your pacifier.

10:00pm – Be fed by Mommy. Flail the whole time.

10:20pm – Fight your swaddle, loudly. We’re talking lots of grunting.

1:00am – Work loudly on a messy diaper. Also much grunting.

2:45am – Demand to be fed again.

3:05am – Fall asleep before having a full feeding. This forces Mommy to go “make a bottle for later” because she hurts so much.

5:00am – Demand to be fed again.

5:25am – Refuse to fall back asleep. Keep your eyes as open as possible.

6:15am – Fall asleep 15 minutes before Daddy’s work alarm goes off.

7:00am – Be done sleeping for now. If possible, spit up on your bed.

7:30am – Work loudly on a messy diaper, then baffle your parents by not actually having a messy diaper.

7:50am – Fall asleep peacefully, almost as though it’s going to last.

8:20am – Wake to your wet diaper leaking onto your already-cleaned-once-this-morning bed. Be very upset about this.

8:30am – Mommy will finally accept that she will not be getting any more good sleep today and will rock you with one arm while writing a blog post with the other.

This method has proven success.


2 Responses to “how to keep your parents from sleeping”

  1. Hannah

    Dear OBaby,
    Let your mommy get some sleep for more than 15 minutes.
    Love you dear one and can’t wait to meet you in person one of these days!
    -cousin Hannah


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