wherein I am peed on at 30,000 feet

Hi friends. I promise I haven’t forgotten you. It’s just that a whirl wind called vacation ran it’s course through my life and suddenly I felt the urge to do nothing but curl up in the fetal position and rock back and forth for a while. No matter how hard I tried to pump out words these last two days, nufing wud kome owt ov my hed thet wuz wurth reeding, and I just didn’t want to put you through that. But I’ve since crawled out of my hiding place and it’s nap time now so I have a few moments. This afternoon we (OBaby, my funemployed husband, and I) are going to go out and enjoy the 75° sunshine that Minnesota is so kindly giving us, but first I’d like to tell a little tale that I call “joining the other mile high club”.

Remember when I said that I was going to look at our flight home as an adventure? Well, I think that’s what they call “a prophetic word” because no sooner had I said that I would be Little Miss Good Attitude than I was sitting on the plane holding my baby and feeling a wet, warm sensation run down my shirt.

{OBaby, helping us rip our eyes out at the insanity.}

O yes, folks. The ticketing agent forcing us to check a bag (even though it fit into the size tester with a little shoving persuasion) and me spilling the contents of the diaper bag into the aisle were not the only adventures this flight held for us. A diaper explosion released flood waters rivaling those of the Bonneville Dam right onto my lap. (This is the part where I go on and on about how much I hate disposable diapers and how we’ve actually experienced significantly more leaks and issues with them than with cloth.)

DanO jumped into warp speed Daddy, snapping up OBaby from my arms and high tailing it to the bathroom with the diaper bag. Fortunately, the seat belt sign was on so there was no line and the stewardess in the jump seat only gave DanO an understanding nod.

[Aside: Every time DanO changes OBaby on a plane there’s a station, but I have only ever had the good fortune of changing him on planes that do not have a diaper changer in the bathroom. OBaby’s first ever in-flight change was conducted last fall on the access panel door above the toilet by yours truly. The door was located where changers normally are, but it was definitely not a changer. It opened to the plumbing and I was careful to keep a good grip on his thigh the whole time so that he didn’t fall down in it. It was one of those ‘Where is my cape because I am freaking SUPERMOM right now’ moments. True story.]

So we got harassed about our luggage. I was a klutz. I got peed on. But (and I really mean this) other than that, the flight went surprisingly well. O, and I didn’t have extra pants in the diaper bag, just a fleece PJ that would have been roasting, so once again we had a half naked babe in public (thankfully, somehow his shirt escaped more unscathed than I did).

It surely was an adventure, and looking back on it, my theory is that the diaper explosion was nothing more than a trick on OBaby’s part so that he could show off his chub-a-lub legs to all the passengers.

{O look! I’m standing on a plane! Without pants!}

18 Responses to “wherein I am peed on at 30,000 feet”

  1. abby

    I guess you can check that off the list! :) Oh the joys of motherhood! The things I can look forward to! But seriously…those little chubby legs are just the cutest! And I’m so glad he did well for you for the flight!

  2. Shannon

    Aww :) What a good memory. Hehe. Your son is just too cute. Is he in the medium gDiapers yet? If so, how many months was he when he went into medium? Thanks! :)

  3. Kelly @ Love Well

    The first six months of Natalie’s life — when we were on a plane as often as we were on the ground, it felt like — she had an explosive, up-the-back, wreck-the-clothes poopy diaper EVERY STINKIN’ TIME the plane hit the point where you say, “Oh, look at the cars. They are getting so tiny.”

    Since we had just started climbing, altitude-wise, we would then have to endure the delicate “hold the baby, but not too close” dance for the next 10-15 minutes before the plane started to level out, allowing us to SPRINT for the restroom and put her in her back-up outfit (read: onesie).

    I theorized it had to do something with air pressure forcing the poop out of her. But eventually, she outgrew it, so what do I know?

  4. Corinne

    We’ve always had the same problem with disposables! So crazy. There’s nothing cuter than a half naked baby :)

  5. Mama23Bears

    i’m sure not one single passenger would have complained seeing that cute little guy showing off his legs!!! glad the trip went relatively smoothly.

  6. Em

    Doesn’t it surprise you when the shirt/onesie stays more intact than the person holding the baby? And I agree about disposables…

    My little boy had a gusher one time that made me question whether or not I even PUT a diaper on him…yet miraculously I was more wet than his outfit And as hard as I looked in that diaper bag, there was no spare outfit for MOM! :-)

  7. Tara @ This Military Mama

    Your blog posts always bring a smile to my face. Even if I am having a super crazy emotional hormonal pregnancy day that leaves me crying all over the place. You find a way to bring joy to everything and that is one of the things I love about your writing!

    I’ve totally flown solo with Emma so many times before she turned one. Lots of planes don’t have changing tables. There was one time a passenger next to me was kind of to take a potty break them selves so I could bust out a changing pad to put Emma across our two seats to change her diaper.

    I’ve also totally had blow outs that got all over me and none on her basically too. Planes are such an adventure! :D

  8. brittney

    These plane stories make me look forward to flying with our baby sometime in the future. No, really. They do. :)

  9. annemarie

    Isn’t it nice to think that, while these frustrating/annoying/difficult things happen, at least you can blog about it and it will make a great story! Cause we’re all eating it up. :)

  10. Stef

    Oh, babies and airplanes make for an adventure….ALWAYS! That is why we drive now…so that those adventures are only witnessed by our family…PLUS there are 7 of us now. But sounds like all in all, it wasn’t too bad.

  11. Brandy

    Never took any of our children on an airplane …. but we did take a train from South Carolina to Vermont and back again once. Our oldest was only 4 months old for that trip. The way there wasn’t so bad really. Besides being real cramped most of the time.

    It was 80+ degrees when we left South Carolina … in Vermont? It was FREEZING! I was SO GLAD I decided to pack some sweatshirts at least!!

    The way back though? My husband walked her up and down the isle through the entire state of Massachusetts. No kidding.

    Then we had a leaky diaper. And *I* didn’t have any clean clothes … and she was actually asleep and I sure as heck didn’t want to wake her and have her screaming and waking up all the passengers (it was nighttime) … so, yep, we just sat there until she woke up. Oh yeah, that was fun.

    Trips with lil’ ones is NEVER boring, that’s for sure LOL

  12. Stacia

    Flying makes me want to pee my pants, so I can certainly empathize with OBaby. (And his mama! What a flight!)


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