I have a kid and am learning to be a mother, right?
Well, turns out I also have a husband and am learning to be a wife (surprise!). I happen to fall into the school of thought that my marriage comes first in our family – that my husband is a higher priority to me than my child(ren) and I, him. And while I do verbally love on DanO here in this space from time to time, it just so happens that he is not learning to walk and getting new front teeth, nor does he have nearly as adorable knee chub as someone else around this joint, which makes it tough to balance the blog fodder between my men.
Because really, we all know you’re here for the knee chub.
Thankfully, the lovely Johanna of These Prices (and also of Johanna Price Photography – swoon!) hosts a weekly blog carnival called “wedded Wednesday” which is a good reminder to keep important things important, even here in bloggity ville. I hope you enjoy this, my first ever installment of wedded Wednesday and please feel free to hop on over to Johanna’s blog and join us.
“Maybe I should ask for a clean bedroom again, this time for my birthday.” he says, hands on his hips as he looks around our room at what can only be described as the post-blogher disaster of 2010.
It’s true, the room needs help like I need a shower and both seem to be those things on my to-do list that I don’t think about until I’m just so ready to throw myself at my pillow and not open my eyes until a 20lb blond toddler needs me. I feel like a bit of a failure.
It doesn’t help, either, that everything went so swimmingly when I up and left the state for 4 days. It is strangely depressing to me just how well everyone functioned in my absence.
My failures pile up like the unwashed clothes in this room, and both point out my inadequacies. Why is it that I can’t be Super Mom? Super Wife?
…but I know this voice. It sounds a little different this time, but I recognize the timbre and intonation. That nasty downer of a voice in my head whose whispers serve no purpose other than to point out my flaws so that I am crippled by fear and self-doubt?
It’s a Liar.
It wants me to be stymied by the shear volume of tasks at hand, overwhelmed by them, perplexed by their futility, the why and wherefore of them instead of being focused on the who of them.
“Why unpack and put the luggage away if I am going to need it again in 2 weeks? Why did I clean the room for Father’s Day if by August it was just going to be worse?” Lies tumble over and over in my mind.
“Why? Wherefore?” I ask the voice, and merely by calling it out I can tell I already have the upper hand in this mental battle, “To serve the who.”
He is my who. He is my why. He is my wherefore.
So I will unpack the luggage and haul it upstairs to sit undisturbed for a mere 18 days, and then I will sweep the stacks of clothing into the laundry basket or onto hangers where they belong, regardless of how soon the task will need to be repeated. And though I am not Super Woman, it is a lie for me to think I ought to be or that that’s what he wants from me. He wants me, he wants my love and my affection shown through words, touch, gifts, and acts of service. All of which I intend to continue to do.
Because he is my husband and I love him.