(Admittedly, this is a post about diaper rashes. Thou art warned.)
Let’s just call these last few weeks what they’ve been: a deplorable diaper dermis diagnosis debacle. Short and simple.
OBaby had a sad, sad and totally uncomfortable rash that started sometime in early December. I told myself it was from him being in a disposable diaper all day one time (Mommy *might* have forgotten to adequately stock his diaper bag before taking him to the nursery at my moms’ group so he was put in a loner dipe, and holy heck, disposables? You can leave those things on for.ev.er. compared to cloth. But that’s another blog post altogether). So we went ahead and treated the symptoms.
Lots of aquaphor, lots of lanolin cream (yes, you read that properly. The cream you put on your poor cracked, nursing nipples is also good for baby bum-bums when they are poor and cracked), lots of fresh diapers, lots of diaper-free time (God bless my ever resilient area rugs), and lots of baking soda and oatmeal baths. Baking soda neutralizes the rash and the oatmeal soothes the skin.
The kid got so many baths, in fact, that he came up with this really neat, new trick to do in the tub:
Twice. TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW during his baking soda and oatmeal bum soaking bath, the kid goes for it. Notably: PROCEDURE FOR HANDING THIS SITUATION IS NOT IN THE PARENTING MANUALS I HAVE BEEN READING. It was. not. pretty. Also? Because of the things we added to the water to help his rash, the water was, how do you say? translucent. The first time he “went for it”, we weren’t sure what was going on for a while, since our view was obscured by the foggy water.
Wait, too many details? But my life is SO GLAMOROUS, friends! Why wouldn’t you want to hear all about this kind of thing?!
So, the rash. Right? Right. We treated the symptoms and, after learning not to leave our son in the bathtub *quite* so long, his bottom started to clear up. Things were on the upswing.
For about a week.
And then it was back, with a vengeance. The same rash, but worse, and this time – Heaven help me but I have to tell you this part because it is actually kind of important to the story (you know, the story about my son’s bottom) – the smell of his diapers, even just the wet ones, would literally make your eyes water. So. Strong. So. Stinky. Something was clearly, CLEARLY wrong with my poor boy’s sweet little tush.
(He is so going to thank me in 19 years for referring to his tush as little and sweet.)
After smelling that diaper, I did what any good parent would do: I put it inside 3 nested ziploc bags and prepared to take it to the doctor for some sort of chemical lab testing. That smell could not possibly be naturally occurring. I called the pediatrician’s office and left a very detailed and methodical voicemail for the triage nurse using all sorts of adjectives that y’all don’t even want to know could apply to babies’ bums. I was willing to give any and all information needed (even specimens) to get to the… ahem…
bottom of this.
After about 40 minutes, the triage nurse called back to talk to me. She agreed that it was the, shall we say, ‘state of my son’s diapers’ that was causing the rash, and then I braced myself for the plan of attack. How would we figure out what sort of strange tropical disease could be causing his diapers to be so strong? What tests and procedures would be required? Should I keep more diapers stashed away for research?
“He’s dehydrated. Have him drink more water. Water down some Gatorade or juice if you need to, but get a lot more liquids into his body.”
We began the intensive treatment called “operation: water” that very moment. And wouldn’t you know, the diapers as soon as that night were worlds better and in the week since, his bottom has all but (::tee hee:: ‘all but’ ::tee hee::) recovered.
Water, friends. After all that? Water.
Whaaaaaaat, Allison? No picture to go with this post?
I know, right? You’re disappointed, I can tell. But, please let me assure you: over the course of this deplorable diaper dermis diagnosis debacle, I have not once, but twice, asked my buddy Google Images Search about diaper rashes and O MY RETINAS you do not want to know what mine eyes hath seen. You cannot get those kind of things out of your brain once they have entered it. So, you are welcome for not posting a picture here. O, and OBaby, you are welcome, too.