the one about pregnancy hormones

I could not start this post with anything other than:

My poor, sweet, patient, long-suffering husband.

The emotional roller-coaster of pregnancy. It has started.

I remember last time when I was pregnant with OBaby, my once-a-day cries were sometimes (ok often) for no reason and were almost predictable. The last few weeks you could set your watch by them. It would be 9:00 something, we would just be entertaining the idea of getting in bed nice and early when WHAM a Kay Jewelers commercial would come on. Or I’d remember that one time in grade school that my sweet 4th grade teacher told me that I was a wonderful writer…

and suddenly I’d be a puddle on the floor. Pretty much 9:30 on the dot for the entire 3rd trimester.

DanO handled it so well. That ‘deer in the headlights, O Lordy my wife is crying again’ look was all but gone from his face after the fist few episodes. I’m so thankful for him.

The puddling with little-to-no-warning has begun this time around, and DanO is as supportive as ever (and this time he’s not once looked at me like I’m crazy). Sometimes it’s a heart-warming news story, sometimes it’s a sweet kiss from my baby, and sometimes it’s that my chai tea was microwaved EXACTLY to to the right temperature.

Life, man. It’s just. so… beautiful. ::sniffle::

Except sometimes it’s not the beautiful that makes me sob uncontrollably. Sometimes it’s the mean and ugly. Or sometimes it’s me being stupid. Like on Monday.

Monday the 6th of December was a wonderful day to go to the largest mall in America, which just happens to be a mere 25 minute drive from This O House. I carpooled down with a friend and her little boy, and we moseyed our way through the mall with our boys in her double stroller (O My Core Strength, friends. Those things are a beast to maneuver). One of our first stops was the Nordstrom bathroom because a) someone whose nickname starts with O and ends with Baby dirtied his diaper mere seconds before we got in the car to leave (isn’t that always how it goes?!) and b) Nordstrom has itself some swanky-tastic bathroom facilities. Like, 3 separate rooms – one with couches for lounging, one off to the side with chairs and a diaper changer – which I assume is the ‘mothers’ room’, and then the actual “facilities”. It’s pretty snazzy.

So my friend and I are doing the public restroom toddler diaper change shuffle (which is actually a lot more full contact than you would think) in the mothers’ room, when in walks a woman looking a bit confused. She walks along the wall until she comes to a dead end.

Lady: “Huh. Is this a bathroom?”

Me: “O, yea they are back out there and through the door to your left.”

Lady: “O, ok. Good.”

Me: “Well, unless you need a diaper change, then that’s in here.”

All: ::laughter::

<and scene.>

Funny joke, right? Gosh, I’m so witty.


The moment it escaped from my mouth I wanted to fall on the floor and die absolutely DEAD.

The woman was… older.

I assure you that had absolutely nothing to do with why I said it, in fact I surely WOULDN’T have said it if I’d registered her age – it was just that the only ‘bathroom’ facilities in the room where we were standing was a diaper changer – and I didn’t even realize the possible connotation until after I said it. A very painful millisecond after I said it.

Thankfully we all laughed, I prayed that no one thought I had implied what I hadn’t intended to imply, and she went on her way to the actual restrooms. I shrugged it off really well; I didn’t even admit my inner humiliation to my friend…maybe no one noticed that I just made a diaper joke to a woman with beautiful silver hair

Until I got home. Then? O boy did I cry.

How could I be so stupid? Why don’t I just THINK first? I probably broke that woman’s heart. I wish I could go back and edit undo. What does my friend think I meant? I’m such a dork sometimes. ::kicks self. kicks self HARD::

Sometimes I wonder who got the most bum end of the deal out of this whole two kids in two years thing: my poor husband, my poor body, or my poor tender heart.

19 Responses to “the one about pregnancy hormones”

  1. Janelle

    Oh dear. That sounds like something I would say. ;o) Pregnant or not pregnant. I have a way with saying something that I think means one thing…but comes out way wrong or the wrong time.

    My latest good cry…listening to the Christmas Shoes song on the radio. I really had to pull myself together before pulling into my friends driveway. THEN just 1 day later I discover the Christmas Shoes MOVIE on Hallmark. I was a puddled mess. It was just me and the toddler home, he kept looking at me…and I tried so hard to pull it together for his sake, but it wasn’t happening.

    My pregnancy hormones flair into temper tantrum type moments…that I can’t seem to stop no matter how hard I try. It can be as simple as the laundry room being a disaster because nobody knows how to put clothes in their assigned baskets.

    This too shall pass. ;o) I love your sincerity and vulnerability on your blog, and in person! It is one of the most beautiful things about you. ;o)

  2. Rachael

    Ohh boy! I totalllllllly know the whole ‘double stroller with two kiddies’ deal. I babysit and brought a 2 & 4 year old to the park… in a double stroller. Helllllloooo workout! I had to chug that thing up like the biggest hill in town. Crazy!

  3. Julie

    Honestly, I probably would have said the exact same thing. And been mortified. But that’s totally ok- if she laughed, I am sure she thought nothing of it.

  4. Grace @ Arms Wide Open

    aw i can understand your embarrassment, as i’ve done silly things like that as well, but i’m sure there was no offense taken! i am totally like you though, i replay and replay the scene obsessively in my mind & agonize over it… does no good though i assure you.

    hang in there!!!

  5. Alison

    Thanks for the laugh :) And I’m only laughing because this is totally something I would do! I bet she didn’t think a thing of it! Just know you are not alone. I can not tell you how many times I have instantly wished that certain words had not just come out of my mouth.

  6. Rinny

    I’d say all that woman came outta that bathroom with was a good chuckle.

    I totally get how you are feeling. Just wrote a post about my terrible horrible week. Those preggo hormones get me every time. It just makes things appear 10x worse!

    But how GOOD does it feel to have a big ole cry sometimes? Actually sometimes I worry that my poor baby is getting rocked around too much by my sobs. Or that she is learning to cry all the time.

  7. themanager

    seriously, story of my life! i always say things faster than my brain can process what i am saying. like the time i asked an older woman if the cake she was buying for her granddaughter. hmmmm

    a)not my business
    b)not my business
    c)not my business

    oh, and the answer i got totally embarrassed me & her. the cake was for her daughter.


  8. Heather

    I was in the car reading this on my phone (I was the passenger, hubs was driving) and could not stop laughing. Normally when he asks what I’m laughing about and I tell him he thinks I’m ridiculous but he thought this was pretty hilarious as well! “Open mouth, insert foot” moment for sure!

  9. Erin

    I’m just over 16 weeks, and I am on the emotion roller coaster again, too. Everything is making me teary. I’ve gotten especially sentimental every time I leave my 14 month old, which I mean really I have always been a little sensitive about leaving him, but now sometimes I am literally crying as I walk out the door to shop for an hour. Oh hormones!

  10. Marlea

    oh NO i can’t believe you agonized about that- i wish you’d told me:) At the time i promise i positively remember thinking exactly this: “hmm she was just making a joke and i know she didn’t mean it to sound like that! Laugh and shrug it off and hopefully the older lady will too:)” I know you would never mean something that way!

    At the start of this post, i thought you were going to blog about that other incident–with the rude lady in Lego Land! now that was unacceptable. i know—let’s assume LegoLandLady is agonizing over what she said to you, too. And that RestroomLady knew you were a sweet young woman and forgot all about it.


  11. Susan

    O My. It took two readings before I even realized what you were stressing over. Funny! – but if this old lady (me) didn’t get it, there is hope she didn’t either. I was visualizing you and your friend each fussing over your child(ren) in my mind and so I took the comment to be directed at your activities and not at her. Does that make sense? Anyway, I only commented to let you know she may not have even taken the comment the way you did later. You’re a sweetie and I’m sure no one thinks you meant any disrespect.

  12. chantal

    I cried so hard on the way to lunch the other day. I had just gotten home to hubby after visiting my family for 2weeks in Vegas when I put on my new Michael Buble (swoon) Christmas cd in the car. Right as we pull into the sushi joint “ill be home for christmas” comes on ad I start saying “honey! Honey look! I came home for Christmas! Its our song! .. right? Get it? … get it..?” And he, trying to find a parking space,pretty much nodded and ignored me.. so I start BAWLING my eyes out.. he has this confused look on his face and says “Omg what’s wrong!?” To which I simply reply between sobs “I just wanted you to say I love you” lmao. Hillarious. Thanks alot hormones.

  13. Kristina

    Hey! Pregnant or not a lot of women speak witty remarks just like u did… only some people take it differently. It was not being mean or rude. You were being witty. (((hugs))) People who can’t take humor should kick themselves. I got into a lot of trouble and I can’t even recall what I said. Sigh….

    Hang on there! Just think how lucky you are to have such husband!

  14. Elisha

    Andy and I were just talking about how pregnancy hormones are crazy and make you crazy. I don’t think I cried more than once a year before I was pregnant and now it’s nearly every day. I’m watching Narnia yesterday and I start crying randomly. I wake up and I’m getting ready in the morning and I start crying in front of the mirror. I’m in church and singing worship songs and I start crying. Cry. Cry. Cry. I feel like my emotions are out of control. Poor Andy still has the deer-in-the-headlights look that is followed suddenly by the manly compulsion to to fix the waterworks coming out of his wife’s eyes. Husbands are the best. :D

  15. Jenn

    I so know what you mean! I don’t have pregnancy hormone problems at this time, but I constantly analyze my day of conversations. I always ALWAYS ask my husband after we leave a group, “Did I say anything I should regret?” He normally says, “No.” Which I think is good news for both of us! And I’ll just reiterate what everyone else has said: She laughed. She probably didn’t think twice about it. Especially since you gave her helpful information first. But I’m sure you know that. But for your heart’s sake, I hope you’re encouraged in this hormonal season of your life. :)


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