I count my calories. At 8pm, I’m over by 45 already and my options are to be satisfied for the day or to go burn a few hundred calories working out so I can have more. Specifically, so I can have that cup of yogurt with 2/3 cup granola on top (240 calories). I usually choose the workout (and the granola).
I toss the impulse cardigan into the red plastic cart. Its bright pink hue with on-trend pockets and generously sized buttons assure me I will feel pretty in it. You know what would go great with this cardigan? That taupe v-neck tee-shirt on the display next to it. But I can’t. I shouldn’t.
I wake to the sound of his slow, carefully measured steps on the stairs. It’s been what, 35 minutes since I dozed off? It’s as if they know which days Mommy lays down to rest, too and they intentionally cut their naps short on occasions such as this. I want to be happy that my groggy-headed toddler has emerged for the afternoon, but I also want to still be sleeping.
I’m not a fan of our kitchen, I’ll admit. After we finish the garage this summer, we’ll be entering the house awkwardly routed through the kitchen via the back porch. What if we made the porch part of the kitchen, though? We’d just have to gut everything in the porch, replace, raise and insulate the floor, replace the windows and door, patch part of the stucco, tear out a large wall, and re-sheet-rock the whole thing.
I spent hours staring at a mostly white screen, waiting for the perfect words. Finally they came. I dug deep into the caverns of my soul and spilled out thoughts I’d hardly share with someone face-to-face, let alone anonymous masses on the internet. It was sure to resonate with people, to touch them, to change them. It got 4 comments.
I wanted to do lettuce again this year, but it seemed silly to plant just one veggie, so I also bought seeds for tomatoes, cucumbers, beans, zucchini, radishes, summer squash and herbs. We’ll also need supplies to build a raised bed, some lattice for the beans and cucumbers to grow on, and some good compost. Just like that, my small garden experiment has turned into a sizable undertaking.
I wonder if that twitter friend of mine has gone into labor yet. I should check. And that edgy blogger wrote a post that’s getting a lot of buzz, I should pull it up and read it. Did I ever text that friend back about our play date at the park? What’s the weather going to be like that day? Wait, why did I turn on my phone?
I lay my head on the pillow and replay the day. My thoughts are filled with should haves and shouldn’t haves. Tomorrow I’ll stick to my calories. Tomorrow I won’t stray from the shopping list. Tomorrow I’ll be the mom I ought to be. Tomorrow we’ll clean out the porch and start the planning process. Tomorrow I’ll write that perfect piece. Tomorrow I’ll plant the seed starters indoors. Tomorrow I’ll be more intentional with my screen time.