I returned home Sunday from 5 days in Nashville at the Blissdom social media and blogging conference. A funny thing happened when I loaded my pictures from the week onto my computer:
I realized they were all of my baby.
Which is accurate, really. Bringing an almost-10-month-old across the country to an event is no easy task, and it’s not surprising at all that my experience and my photos were defined by OBrother. I want to write out what it was like to be part of the Blissdom Baby Brigade, but it’s so multi-faceted that I’m afraid it will take me a while. Bear with me?
Blissdom with a Baby, Part 1: the parties and the night life
I’m starting with this topic because it was the aspect of the trip I found the hardest to negotiate with a baby. Blissdom is known for impossibly awesome special events during the conference. (We had a private Rascal Flatts concert Friday night. True story.) The parties are loud and late, an unenjoyable combination for a baby. I tried having OBrother take an extra late nap to (hopefully) extend my curfew, but I don’t know that it was actually effective.
The first evening of the conference, the kick off party was a total baby-bust for me. OBrother wanted nothing to do with the noise, he wanted nothing to do with letting me stand still and talk to people, and he surely wanted nothing to do with actually sleeping in the pack on me so I could socialize while he snoozed. I was discouraged and, yea, some quiet tears might have rolled down my cheeks as I paced outside the party area trying to get him to settle so I could go back in long enough to eat my fajita. I wasn’t successful. Sweet Nish of Nish Happens walked with me for a while, and after a nice chat with Megan of Sorta Crunchy and the fantastically pregnant Lora of Vita Familiae, OBrother and I called it a night pretty early.
That evening I had a revelation that made the rest of the conference so much better: I am here for the sessions and the connections, if I get to party, too, awesome. If not, O well.
I think that’s true both at conferences and on the average day. Said in terms of everyday life: Focus on the necessities. If I get some free time or an extra errand run, awesome. If not, O well. I know this about the daily grind with my boys, but there’s something about being at a special function like a conference that makes me want to be able! to! do! everything! High expectations are not a baby mama’s friend. In fact, the more realistic my expectations, the less frequent my meltdowns.
Let me say that again, if only because I need to hear it.
The more realistic my expectations, the less frequent my meltdowns.
Expectations with a baby, with a toddler, with a spouse, at home, running errands, at a conference (in a box with a fox?). I’m not saying never try things outside your expectations (I still went to the party even if I didn’t stay), but the difference is if it works out? AWESOME. If not, no prob, Bob.
And can I tell you something? I had more fun sitting in the hall with Kim of Prairie Mama (my roommate) after the party eating a ridiculous dessert than I had at the official conference cocktail shin-dig.
{Morgan of the 818, Kim of Prairie Mama and her baby boy, Me and OBrother, Beth Anne of Heir to Blair}
{aka my tribe.}
The next night was the Lorax party which was a little more my speed. The room was still loud but it started a little earlier, the crowd was much more manageable, and the vibe was relaxed. Shortly after arriving I found two sweet friends I hadn’t seen since 2010 – Morgan and Beth Anne – and we were chatting about the evening’s schedule. When I shared that I had just decided to be OK with not seeing Rascal Flatts that night on account of OBrother’s bedtime, they said they weren’t even planning to attend and asked if they could…
WAIT FOR IT…
babysit him while I went to the concert.
You guys. The tears again, only this time happy quiet tears.
{photo credit Nancy Doud www.nancydoud.com}
So yea, I got down with my bad self to the songs of Rascal Flatts and some guy whose last name is Jonas (that’s all I have to say about that) while sweet friends snuggled my baby.
The next (and last) night, OBrother and I stayed in because it was really what we needed to do. Guess what? I don’t feel deprived or bummed or regret-ty. I nursed him to sleep, then I wrote, I packed, I showered, I rested. It was perfect. I heard the party was fun (karaoke! pajamas!) and I’m so glad it was. I’m also so glad I had that first night realization and had peace about letting my baby sleep instead of trying to do it all.
I have so much more to share about bringing a baby to Blissdom over the next few days – packing and babywearing, attending the sessions, and ‘the s word’. (Not that one, silly. ‘Sleeping’.) I hope you’ll come back.
I love that Lorax picture, and his sweet happy face. And of course the gorgeous mamas.
MUAH.
I so, so needed to be reminded of this, “The more realistic my expectations, the less frequent my meltdowns.”
mom of 5 here and one of them is 10 weeks old! ah!
O girl. With 5 and the littlest being but a wee peanut, your daily expectation should be 1) love your children 2) feed your children. Anything else is superfluous! :) God bless!
Allison I really like your thoughts of expectations. Definitely something I needed to hear. I should write that down and post it somewhere I can see it everyday!
Seriously, this needs to be posted somewhere in my house! I can’t accomplish everything every day, and neither can I expect other people, such as my hubby, to always meet my expectations. Well said Allison!!
Oh my word, do your boys look alike! Too cute! You are such an awesome mommy, Allison! Don’t ever forget that!
PS – Babywearing makes these things possible! Yay for babywearing! I wore my son in an Ergo for a trip to CA when he was just over a year and it worked SO perfectly – he took naps in there, took in all the sights, and helped momma make it sanely through the airport safe and secure in the Ergo. ;)
Right? My Ergo is my new best friend. At the library yesterday I taught 2 other moms how to get a baby into and out of the back carry solo. I spread the gospel of babywearing wherever I go. ;)
Haha – “the gospel of babywearing”. I LOVE it! I love when people stop and ask about whatever baby carrier I’m wearing, because I love it so much and wish EVERY mom knew how awesome it is! :)
I hate to be a weirdo :) but where can I get jeans like that!? I pretty much only get Gap ones, but none of them are like yours.. and I love yours!! You look so great and your son is adorable!!!
Thanks! They are J Crew – from a consignment store so they’re probably last year’s style or older. I’m so behind the times. ;)
Love that picture. OBrother looks so much like OBoy there! You are looking great!
Ummm…! I have never wanted to be a photo so bad as I do that Lorax one. So glad you had a good time.
I love this post.
I loved meeting you. You are beyond darling and your little boy — OOOOO the squishiness! I’m so glad that Kim introduced us.
I adored Beth Ann before, I <3 her for that huge heart of hers in giving you such a gift. <3
He is the CUTEST thing I have ever seen in the Lorax picture!! ADORABLE! No wonder BA wanted to babysit him!!!
Beth Anne is the BEST. seriously. so sweet. i am so glad you enjoyed yourself while at Blissdom!
You are looking so fabulous you’re face is looking so thin! You are such an inspiration
So fun meeting you! And the little cutie you were toting!!
That motto will be running through my head tomorrow and I have no doubt it will make for a smoother morning! Thanks!!! I’m getting my very own Ergo in the morning and will be coming right home to check youtube for videos on how to get a babe in safely for the back carry. If I can’t find one – would you consider filming how you do it? I’m SO ready to be able to wear Elsa on my back for some of the day. She wants to be carried.a.lot and I struggle with anxiety about not accomplishing very much around the house and having it hurt to have her on my hip.
Can’t wait to hear more about your trip!
I’m so glad you found your groove and peace about the conference avec bebe.
For the organization my husband and I work with, there are at least 2 MAJOR conferences every year, if not a few other smaller ones. Having children busted open my world and made me realize that I needed to have realistic expectations that conferences would never look the same again for me with kids as they did without kids gave me peace and a desire to find the “new” conference experience enjoyable, no matter what it would look like. (That has got to be the worst structured sentence but I have zero desire to fix it this morning. I’m sure you get what I’m saying. ;))
Looking forward to part 2.
Oh my goodness best parenting mantra ever “the more realistic my expectations, the less frequent my meltdowns.”
How many times have we tried to go out with Ash and I spend only a small part of the evening begrudgingly trying to settle Asher instead of being grateful for the time I had been spending with friends.
Thanks Allison for another great post. Look forward to hearing more about Blissdom…P.s Which Jonas was it, please tell!
Love that they offered to babysit for you. Probably just what you needed. To think you were so nervous about heading out there. Lucky that you had that “expectation” realization. Can’t wait to hear more about it.
Glad that the trip was a success and that picture of you wearing OBrother is just gorgeous!
You – and OBrother – were RIDICULOUSLY adorable at Blissdom, and I was so, so happy to have met you.
I am so glad you came. I am so glad you stayed. I loved that Elliott and OBrother were just best little buddies the whole time! I also am glad you got to see Rascal Flatts. At least one of us did ;)
MWAH!
Psssst – did you see this? I’m pretty sure it’s you guys. http://www.flickr.com/photos/77190089@N06/6795449456/
I COMPLETELY lost focus at the sight of Rascal Flatts so close to where you were!!!! OH MY WORD! I just love those guys – love their songs, love their humor, love their shows. I first saw them on an itty bitty stage years ago and then got to go to another one of their concerts except it was at a MUCH BIGGER venue with a much *thirstier* crowd – not nearly as enjoyable. Anyway…….so impressed you made it through with a baby – you are a better mama than I.
Blissdom looked awesome. You are awesome. And your new long(er) hair is awesome. That is all. :)
This sentence so resonated with me. ““The more realistic my expectations, the less frequent my meltdowns.” I need to hear this again and again. As a mama of 2 girls, ages 4 and 16 months, I need to manage my expectations better.
Yay! Loved this post. You are SO brave for bringing a baby to Blissdom! My hat is totally off to you!! And thanks for the link/credit for my photo! Much appreciated!