God doesn’t want me to be skinny.

He wants me to be His.

He wants me to love him more than anything else on earth (even girl scout cookies).

He wants my attention.

He wants me to love what he has given me (even my generous hind parts).

He wants me to care for what he has given me.

He wants me to trust Him.

He wants me to know the freedom that is in Christ.

(even freedom from food-guilt)

(even freedom from what the scale says)

(even freedom from low self-esteem)

He wants me to know that He made me for more.

(even more than feeling like a prisoner in my own body)

(even more than trying to be skinny)

My weight loss journey is not about being skinny. It is not about how I look. It is not about a number on a scale or on my clothing tag or on the weights I lift or even on a BMI calculator.

It is about who I am.

It is about being disciplined. It is about the search for true satisfaction (and realizing that it’s not at the bottom of the brownie pan). It is about learning what’s a need and what’s a want. It is about leaning into these heart struggles, these soul struggles and getting to the root of them.

If I get to my goal weight and am still carrying around the same extra spiritual baggage, then I’m doing it wrong. Because let’s face it: if I’m not filled with the joy God has given me now, today, I will not be filled with that joy just because my pants are two sizes smaller.

God doesn’t want me to be skinny. He wants me to be His.

:: :: :: :: :: ::

My Journey to Health:

April 6, 2012: 161lbs

March 31, 2012: 163lbs

February 29, 2012: 166lbs

January 30, 2012: 174lbs

December 30, 2011, 187 lbs

26 lbs lost!

:: :: :: :: :: ::

How am I losing that weight, you ask? Medifast!! If you use the coupon code, OFAMILY56, and sign up for Medifast Advantage, when you order $250+, you’ll receive 56 free Medifast Meals and free shipping! (More details at the bottom of this post.)

Disclosure: I receive free product in order to evaluate and comment on my experiences on the Medifast Nursing Mothers Program. I will only ever tell you how I actually feel about this experience and the Medifast products. Pinky swearsies. I am supposed to tell you that the Medifast Program is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or illness and that any medical improvements noted while on the program are related to weight loss in general, and not to Medifast products or programs. K, you got that? Good. There will be a quiz later.

23 Responses to “God doesn’t want me to be skinny.”

  1. Whitney

    This is such an encouraging post! You are losing weight! Woo! But it’s really cool that He is teaching you things through this journey and getting you through it. He is always faithful

  2. Karey

    I agree with the pp, this is SO encouraging and something I strive to remind myself daily. Even during pregnancy (when it’s so easy to just say, “It doesn’t matter right now, I’ll lose it all alter”) it does matter. My heart matters. Where my attention and focus is matters. To Him. The one who deserves *all of me*.

    Thank you for these wise words. They certainly blessed (and convicted!) me today. :)

  3. Sarah P.

    Thank you so much for sharing your heart today. I’m currently 18 pounds into my own weight loss journey and you so eloquently put into words what I try to remind myself of every day. I left a comment a couple of months ago recommending that you read the book “Made to Crave”. It’s one of the most influential books I’ve ever read and I would still highly recommend it to any woman trying to make healthy changes in her lifestyle. But it sounds like you already have it figured out! You just echoed the authors words perfectly.

  4. Casey

    You are such an inspiration and somehow knowing I’m not the only one with these struggles is so comforting. How is it that I feel like I can connect with you so much more than the women in my neighborhood? I don’t even know you and we’ve never talked but you have been my friend for 2 plus years since I started reading and I just want to say thank you for letting me listen in….

  5. Laura

    This is so powerful. Sometimes we take something good (striving to be healthy) and put it above God, making it an idol in our lives. This is a beautiful reminder!

  6. Sarah Anikpo

    Loved this post. Very helpful to hear today on my first post-partum day back at the gym. I want food to have a healthy place in my life and heart so my baby girl won’t learn this struggle from me. Praise God for convicting you in your heart with His truth! Also enjoyed you “peel back” post…rang true for me.

  7. Samantha @ Mama Notes

    In my moms group discussion this week, we talked about Joy or what robs us of Joy. Will we be happy if are pants are smaller or we are finally skinny? (One example) This spoke to me. I want ot make sure my focus is on Jesus and my intentions of losing weight and reaching my goals are because of Jesus and FROM Jesus and nothing else. SOmething I’m still trying to figure out..

  8. Amanda

    Amen, and beautifully put! I’m learning self-control and holiness in different ways, but it comes down to the same basic thoughts. Less of me, more of Him! xoxo

  9. leah @martialbless

    True story. It’s so easy when trying to lose weight to place all of your hopes and dreams onto a goal weight, but that’s not it and that’s not God. Good job mama!

  10. Kelly

    I love you! I don’t “know” you, but I love you. I love that you fearlessly follow Him. It makes my heart sing :) You teach me so much. Follow Him and you are fearless. Follow Him and you are humble. You are fearless and you are humble. You are a teacher through Christ and I am thankful that you share the lessons that He has taught you with us.

  11. Chelsea

    I love your blog! I am SO happy I found it tonight. I am just finishing day 4 on medifast & so far so good! I love your honesty & optimism. YES, God doesn’t want me to be skinny. He wants me to be His. Love that! Here’s to enjoying the journey & finding joy along the way.


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