Sometimes you just want it to be enough that you got three people out of bed, dressed, fed, and out of the door to the library on a 15° morning and that you didn’t lose your crap on your almost-two-year-old when he swiped an armful of magazines off the rack onto the floor.
Sometimes you want to open up your laptop and not feel the twinge of guilt from that “new post” tab in your browser.
Sometimes, you don’t care that your whole family went to Florida for a week and you have some freaking awesome pictures and it’s customary to blog such photos. You like those photos right where they are, taking up pretty space on your pretty harddrive and nowhere else.
Sometimes you don’t have any more thoughts or feelings or you’re not quick enough on your feet to jump on the most recent bandwagon/current event/public figure roast going on on the interwebs. Sometimes (usually) it makes you tired just to think about.
Sometimes you look at these things and you think, self, you don’t really even have what it takes to be a blogger. You just keep this website out there and throw up words on it when you can, but really, you don’t have the effort or the energy or the ability to keep it up like you should.
And sometimes, you don’t know what to do with those thoughts, so naturally, you blog them.
This is me. Right now. I just feel…exhausted. It’s just all exhausting. And sometimes I don’t want to share, and when I feel that way then I feel guilty. And that just sounds dumb, but it’s there. I get it.
YES. Exhaustion –> apathy –> guilt. Blogging sucks, man.
Sometimes you need your friends to remind you that you’re a beautiful soul. While we love to read your words, we love it more when you’re in a happy place. Quick snapshots of those sweet little faces on Instagram are good enough. {Because obviously we still want to see you!} Sometimes it’s better to be real instead of sitting down and forcing yourself to type. It’s hard when our mind goes to that dark place and tells us that we don’t have any value to add or that we can’t do this. But, we can and we do. Whatever we choose to do is good enough, because getting three people up, fed, and out the door is a major accomplishment! We’re still here cheering you on, even if you only pop in from time-to-time.
O, Kyley. Thank you so much for this, friend. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. xoxo
Kyley, can I “like” your response? She needs a “like” button. I could not agree with you more!
I’m feelin’ ya right now. My blog is just sitting there, waiting for me to string together words that were well thought out, ideas and stories, and all I can manage is posting little tidbits of my day every now and then. Honestly, I don’t even want to put together a helpful, thoughtful post because it feels like a waste to just let it float off unknown into the interwebs.
Yup. I feel the same way.
Oh yes. And yes. And yes. I feel like this often. I didn’t blog regularly at all for a few months because of it and now that I am blogging my stats are still half at what they once were from before my hiatus. And that seems to make it even easier to not write again because who am I writing for? And then I decided it was for me. So it doesn’t matter when I write or who reads it’s that it’s for me. And just me.
See, I waffle on this and just going the for-me route, but I have also benefitted so much from the community of bloggers online and have watched the exchange of words and stories and lives be beautiful and powerful and sacred. And I want that. Sometimes.
It’s ok to take a week or two off. There is NOTHING wrong with that. Get some guest posters if you’re worried about your blog being “blank” for that period of time. Lindsi and I hash out a bunch of posts when we are in a good mood and we save them up for when we have those “I don’t feel like blogging” times.
In all reality, everyone feels like this at one point in time. You are completely and 100% normal. Do what is best for YOU and not your readers/community/friends.
Amen Mama! Sometimes the Hypermesis makes me want to cry in the bathtub instead of write what’s going on and how excited I am for baby #2. Thank you for being so honest!!
The illness with baby number two made me want to drown in the bathtub. Not really, but I did take these long, miserable baths during which all I could think about was how awful I felt. The baby is here now (six weeks old!). I got through it. You will too.
We miss you when you’re gone, because you are a friend (who I haven’t met yet), but we also totally understand. My babes are almost exactly the age of yours and I’m 10.5 weeks along with number 3 (shh nobody knows!) And you know what? It’s amazing to have accomplished the task of dressing, feeding, and potentially cleaning everyone! Do what you love. Be with your heart. Don’t feel guilty like you have to write, you don’t. We’ll love you the same once a month, once in a while, or once a day!
Why you listenin’ to the enemy, boo?
I’m not a blogger but I am a mommy in the same boat, with kids the same age. Where sometimes you find yourself in a rut where the thought of doing the same thankless, mundane tasks day after day is exhausting. When you clean one thing, only to turn around and have to fix two other things. Maybe it’s just this time of year, but I feel like a lot of people are just sort of “uuugghhh” right now, both online and off.
If you’re not inspired, you’re not, no big deal. Do what you need to do. I can only speak for myself, but I enjoy your thoughts, wisedom and inspiration, no matter how often you post, or how insignificant you may feel. We (unfortunantly) often feel not enough, and that’s not a good thing!
Blissdom, your race, and Spring (kinda, sorta?) near might be enough to put a little more pep in your step. Lord know I need some. Hang in there – HUGS!!!
Ugh I get this. I totally live this.
Sometimes it’s just like “do I have to be witty today?”
Breaking into this blogging thing is hard. Making money from it is nearly impossible (I’m still trying to figure it out). But since I can’t seem to stop talking I forge ahead anyway.
I’m so fickle!
Thanks for this post!
Randomblogdrama .com
This. Right. Here. Feeling this way for the past week. Doesn’t help with a new baby.
We have to stay strong!
aaaand THIS is why I love your heart and your space here. Raw and honest. Thankyouverymuch!
I am right there with you, sister.
I think I’ve blogged twice in…two weeks? I’ve done once for Babble? I just can’t. I’m exhausted down to the small bones in my toes.
When I’m having trouble blogging because of the pressure to “measure up” I stop reading other blogs. It helps me clear my head and blog for whatever reasons make ME happy.
I’m also a big fan of taking vacations from Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest. If blogging doesn’t feel good, stop. (But please don’t stop I love your little family).
I think you shouldn’t worry so much. When I check the blog and don’t see a new post I think, oh Allison must be busy. Seriously, I don’t analyse it at all. I just hope you are ok and know that we will hear from you soon. Do what you need to, look after yourself and your family and we will all be here when you have something you want to tell us. Don’t let it worry you please. Okay? Thanks
It’s okay, sweet friend. It’s okay to be tired, to want to turn inward, to let living be enough. Especially in March in Minnesota when it seems like everyone is just tired. But Spring is coming, new life is coming, and I have a feeling you’ll be inspired to write again. We all lose our motivation sometimes, all feel that awful feeling of inadequacy. Remember — your adequacy is in Christ. No matter how often you blog, what your stats are, He makes you adequate. And whatever you do in response to His love is a gift to the world and to His heart, whether it’s getting those beautiful boys fed, training for your race, making your flipping house beautiful, or writing and forming community here. You’re a gift. Love you so much.
Dear Allison,
I am much older than you and the people who respond to your blog. We actually have a friend/relative in common and she told me about you! Yours is the only blog I read rather regularly. I read it because you are refreshingly “real”. I also read it to sort of stay current with the younger women whom God has put in my life. I totally agree with Amanda’s post before me. I will pray for you right now!
Allison,
Yours is the only mommy blog I follow. I find myself checking in with you while nursing my 18 month old. Why? Because your real. Because you love Jesus in a real way. Because you love your family and are real about life with a young family and because you will say Blogging sucks some times. Thank you. From one tired mom to another.
I know what you mean. Sometimes I feel I need to read all the blogs I follow before I blog myself, and then I am too tired to blog. Or I just want to watch tv with my husband and cuddle with my cat.
The commenter above hit the nail right on the head — whenever I get “blogger’s block” and am unable to write anything, is it almost always because I spend so much time reading other blogs and I feel I can’t write as well as they do, so then it almost paralyzes me from writing a new blog post. The best thing for me to do in that case is stop reading other blogs for a day or two, to just take a break from it all, and then come back to my own blog and write freely.
I second what Savanna said. Thankful to hear you are around. I enjoy your posts and miss reading them. However, focusing in what you and your family need is the most important. Many hugs to you!!!
I randomly quit writing a few months ago. Didn’t plan it. Just didn’t feel like it for a while and now here we are. It’s been oddly freeing.
I just want you to know that even if you only blogged once a year, I will still keep checking your blog weekly because I love the things you say. Blogging should be an outlet and not something that you need to feel guilty about so please remember that people that really love your blog will never judge you or make you feel bad because life got in the way. Or perhaps I just have a better understanding because I also have two young boys :)
Allison, Don’t give up! Don’t stop! God has all given you a story to tell and you know that what you are meant to say will burn inside of you until you write it down. The key to all this is to just keep on keeping on – to practice this art of writing to stay true to your story and be who you are. Don’t worry about what you “should” do or say. “To thine own self be true.” I’ve enjoyed reading your blog for several years and enjoy the diversity of your posts. I agree with every word you say in this post as I am living this moment right now – which is why you will see that my last post was from 2/5/13. Yep…WINNING!
I completely understand. I feel like my blog is slipping through my fingers and it’s looming over my head because I have so many pictures, events, etc that I need to blog but I don’t have the drive to do it. Then I feel like a slacker. then I feel guilt because I always blogged the first child’s monthly pictures and stats, so I NEED to do it for the second child yet I’m already a month late…
Thanks for being honest about how blogging really is for you! I just started blogging, after thinking about it for so long, and I’m already wondering sometimes what I’ve gotten myself into. I want it to be fun and successful, but I don’t want it to take over my life or keep me from being a wife and mom first. It’s really hard! It takes SO much more work than I was expecting! There is so much that goes on behind the scenes of a blog, I’m learning. I have so much more respect and appreciation for those of you who are doing it!